You Cannot Make Up This Story About What Sidelined the New Jersey Devils' Star Player

Guy Benson, a die-hard New Jersey Devils fan, is no longer with Townhall, so I can write about this story. As a New York Rangers fan, I hate this team. Hate ‘em. But this story is just ridiculous. You cannot make it up. Star player Jack Hughes is out for at least two months after injuring himself at a team dinner. What the hell was going on at this gathering last week?

The reactions to the incident last week were undefeated, but Barstool Sports’ Frank Fleming was at this dinner, which led to speculation that the ‘curse’ that’s followed this man’s family since the Irish Potato Famine cut down the Devils’ center (via Barstool Sports):

Jack Hughes is expected to miss two months of action and will be re-evaluated in six weeks.

The eight-week mark would be around mid-January for a return.

Just gutted for Jack. #NJDevils https://t.co/yoB9svOmwX
— Amanda Stein (@amandacstein) November 15, 2025

Devils’ Jack Hughes out with hand injury after freak accident at team dinner: Source https://t.co/OVCEXljMEM
— Peter Baugh (@Peter_Baugh) November 14, 2025

Per @FriedgeHNIC, Hughes injured his hand at a team dinner in a "fluke accident", sources said. https://t.co/7Nm8fZRcW0
— B/R Open Ice (@BR_OpenIce) November 14, 2025

Jack Hughes out after cutting himself at a team dinner with Frank the Tank is one of the most outrageous headlines in hockey history
— Ryan Whitney (@ryanwhitney6) November 14, 2025

The Fleming curse is real. Ever since Seamus Fleming bought a potato farm the DAY before the potato famine (my favorite all-time Frank story... his great great great something moved to Ireland, bought a potato farm then BAM... famine), the Fleming Curse has been wreaking havoc across the world.
The Devils are doing so damn well too. We're 17 games into the season, and they're on top of the Eastern Conference. On Wednesday night vs the Blackhawks, with Frank in the building, even Frank's arch nemesis (or at least one of many), New Jersey's 2nd overall pick from 2019, Simon Nemec, who's been a frustrating watch for Devils' fans, broke out for a hat trick and single-handedly brought the Devils' back from behind to beat the Blackhawks in OT. Right in Franks face. Everything had been coming up Devils.
Everything had been coming up Frank too. It's his 50th birthday this week. He's the healthiest he's been in his life. He's walking with a brand new legendary sports figure every week. He got to meet the New Jersey Devils. And Jack Hughes chops his hand clean off with a steak knife.
Now I must say, because it's my duty to report to facts, I do not believe Frank was in attendance at the time of the injury. According to my inside source at Fleming Enterprises, he was no longer at the dinner when it happened. So Jack Hughes injury was not the result of a game of knife toss with Frank The Tank
But as a firm believer in the power of the butterfly effect, I can't help but think that injury doesn't happen if Frank never shows up in the first place.