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Heil Harvard!
Tipsheet

Flatuphobia! Body Odor, Struck Matches Cause Emergency Landing

Vigilance.

American Flight 1053, from Washington Reagan National Airport and bound for Dallas/Fort Worth, made an emergency landing here after passengers reported smelling struck matches, said Lynne Lowrance, a spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority.

The plane landed safely. The FBI, Transportation Safety Administration and airport authority responded to the emergency, Lowrance said.

The passengers and five crew members were brought off the plane, together with all the luggage, to go through security checks again. Bomb-sniffing dogs found spent matches.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.

The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane.

"American has banned her for a long time," Lowrance said.

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I wonder if the Council on American-Flatulent Relations will claim she was targeted due to flatuphobia.

Once again, inappropriate behavior in inappropriate places.

I'm betting this woman is feeling no small part of the dreaded "humiliation" that the six imams claimed to have felt last week, but it doesn't mean she should be able to go around lighting matches on flights.

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