Scarlett Johansson Wants George Bush to Teach Her More About Sex

Mary Katharine Ham
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Posted: Nov 20, 2006 6:19 PM

Apparently, Scarlett Johannson is a feminist.

This is pretty much all it takes according to the modern definition:

"We are supposed to be liberated in America but if our President had his way, we wouldn't be educated about sex at all. Every woman would have six children and we wouldn't be able to have abortions."

Uhh, no, Scarlett. Six children or abortion? You do realize there's a third option, right? Who was your sex-ed teacher, girl? Laura Bush???

See, Scarlett, the thing is that's not what would happen at all. Note that the Bushes themselves managed, somehow, someway, to only have two children, despite being conservative and, hence, completely ignorant of safe-sex practices and contraceptives. Amazing!

How long will it be before this inane quote ends up in a NOW press release as the ultimate in brilliant, feminist theory? They're actually teaching "Limbo 101" to Women's Studies majors now, the bar has fallen so low.

She also claims to be so "socially aware" that she gets tested for HIV twice a year. I applaud her for her frequent testing, but "socially aware?" Is that what they're calling it these days?

Also, check out the stellar political reporting, here:

A staunch Christian, Bush is vehemently anti-abortion and is seeking to have the operation made illegal in all US states.

How did we all miss the Grand-Super Abortion Criminalizing Executive Order of 2006, which attempted to bypass both the courts and Congress in its blatant abuse of executive power?

And, hush. Y'all know you love that headline.