Your Handy Guide To Obama On The Coakley Campaign Trail

Posted: Jan 18, 2010 4:45 PM
Obama is in Massachusetts, stumping for Coakley. Here are a few choice quotes from the campaign trail, with the recommended translations.

Obama: Understand what's at stake here Massachusetts. It's whether we're going forward or going backwards. If you were fired up in the last election, I need you more fired up in this election.

Translation: Cover up your Obama tattoo with a Martha Coakley tattoo. All those Obama basketballs, pencils, and t-shirts? Switch ‘em over. Blood pacts, hunger strikes, and beard-growing competitions are all encouraged.

Obama: Where we don't want to go now is backwards. We've got so much work left to do. ... I can't do it alone. I need leaders like Martha by my side so we can kick it into high gear, so we can finish what we've started.

Translation: Bucking donkeys takes on a whole new meaning. Obama and Coakley will go at it Rockette-style if they win, punting health care through the pearly gates of Congress.

Obama: A lot of people don't even realize there is an election on Tuesday to fill the unexpired term of Ted Kennedy. They don't realize why it's so important.

I can't believe I'm here.