Michelle Obama's Snoringly Motherish Olympics Appeal

Jillian Bandes
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Posted: Oct 01, 2009 10:36 AM
To inject some life into her banally predictable "for the children!" rhetoric, I've decided to give Townhall readers a personalized play-by-play of Michelle's recent comments on why the U.S. needs to spend a cool $1 billion on the Olympic games during a recession.
Funds dry up so it becomes harder for kids to engage in sports, to learn how to swim, to even ride a bike.
Johnny won't ride his bike if we don't get the Olympics!
When we’re seeing rates of childhood obesity increase...
Johnny will get fat if we don't get the Olympics!
It is so important for us to raise up the platform of fitness and competition and fair play...
It's simply not fair to Johnny not to have the Olympics!
...to teach kids to cheer on the victors and empathize with those in defeat...
School football games don't work anymore.