British comedian Ricky Gervais took a rhetorical blowtorch to Hollywood during his opening monologue at the Golden Globe Awards Sunday night, which he emceed for the fifth time. He scornfully derided the entertainment industry as callow, lazy, preachy, and hypocritical. And the assembled stars reacted, in many cases, by wincing and squirming in their seats. If you haven't already, do yourself a favor and take roughly eight minutes to watch his ruthless "greeting" as the festivities began:
His top three jabs, via the transcript:
(1) "You could binge-watch the entire first season of Afterlife instead of watching this show. That’s a show about a man who wants to kill himself cause his wife dies of cancer and it’s still more fun than this. Spoiler alert, season two is on the way so in the end he obviously didn’t kill himself. Just like Jeffrey Epstein. Shut up. I know he’s your friend but I don’t care."
(2) "Apple roared into the TV game with The Morning Show, a superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing, made by a company that runs sweatshops in China. Well, you say you’re woke but the companies you work for in China — unbelievable. Apple, Amazon, Disney. If ISIS started a streaming service you’d call your agent, wouldn’t you?'
(3) "If you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech. You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. So if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent, and your God and f--- off, OK? It’s already three hours long."
Later, he added this barb:
He did it. The absolute mad man did it.— Greg Price (@greg_price11) January 6, 2020
“...Bird Box, a movie where people survive by acting like they don’t see a thing, so like working for Harvey Weinstein.”pic.twitter.com/toOtUFRD2R
Of course, many of the stars eschewed Gervais' advice and delivered preening political speeches about issues ranging from climate change to abortion to Iran. It was all predictable, self-important, and lame. Some critics were evident unhappy that the evening's host had been so biting and truculent, which is his whole schtick. This tweet from a Los Angeles Times journo, somehow, is not parody:
The #GoldenGlobes mood was already sober thanks to an impeachment, threat of war with Iran and Australian bush fires. The last thing anyone needed was Ricky Gervais there, telling them they sucked. https://t.co/58PAMOikhu— Lorraine Ali (@LorraineAli) January 6, 2020
Slow clap, Lorraine. I'll leave you with this:
Well now there’s a metaphor. pic.twitter.com/LthfTnj12h— Stephen Miller (@redsteeze) January 6, 2020