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A Five Gun Salute to Great Self Defense Weapons

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

Recently, I have been getting a lot of complaints about the lack of diversity in my opinion column. The Feminazi Party has been complaining that I write about abortion too often. The Gaystapo has been complaining that I write about homosexuality too often. Atheists have been complaining that I write about God too often. College administrators have been complaining that I write about college administrators too often. I just can’t win. So, today, I’m going to dedicate my column to the topic of self-defense weapons just in case a lesbian feminist atheist college administrator goes off the deep end. I meant to say, “Even further off the deep end.” These five guns top my list of good, reliable self-defense weapons for the person, the automobile, and the home

1. Smith and Wesson J Frame Revolver. I recommend one carry weapon for summer and one for winter. My summer gun for the last fourteen years has been the Model 640. Men should carry a .357 revolver. They should also carry it in a stainless frame – especially if it is their summer weapon. Sweat all you like and the stainless J frame will take it. For women, I strongly urge the Model 638. Less recoil, but still enough stopping power. There is no need to drop down to a .380. The 38 has enough power and is both light enough and concealable enough for most women.

2. Smith and Wesson M&P Pistol. I carry a slightly larger gun with a larger capacity during the winter. I only do so because the extra clothing allows me to conceal a little more weapon. For years, my choice has been the Glock Model 23, chambered in .40 caliber. All of my friends in law enforcement have been trying to convince me that Smith now makes a superior pistol. I have finally seen the light. This is an affordable and reliable carry weapon. I strongly recommend that men carry the .40 caliber version. Women may want to opt for the 9mm version with less recoil. Either way, the Smith M&P is the way to go.

3. The Taurus Judge. Taurus revolvers have come a long way. Fifteen years ago, I would not have recommended a Taurus of any kind. Today, the Judge has climbed to the top of my list of car defense weapons. The Judge gives an option of firing either 45 Long Colt ammunition or .410 shotgun ammunition. The rifling on the barrel really allows the 410 pattern to open up nicely within the span of just a few feet. As such, it makes an extremely good weapon to ward off the potential car-jacker. The lethal impact of the 410 dissipates rapidly. Hence, I would feel more comfortable squeezing off a round in the middle of traffic than I would with the 45 Long Colt option.

Regardless, it is nice to have the other option available. It’s a good way to celebrate diversity!

4. Smith and Wesson Model 629. When I take long road trips, I always carry a large bore revolver. The Smith 44 magnum has been my top choice for a very long time. With a Judge under the seat and a Model 629 in the trunk there is little that can come your way that you cannot handle. Some will question whether the 44 magnum is ever necessary. But if you’ve ever hit a deer and watched it slowly die on the side of the road you’ll know why I have included it. The 44 magnum is also good for the occasional encounter with a black bear. When I drive through Colorado, the 44 moves from the trunk to the front seat. The fact that it takes 44 Special rounds is also a plus. That is a good round for personal defense. It will not over-penetrate but will have plenty of knockdown power for the potential car-jacker.

5. Remington 870. I love this gun. That’s why I’ve bought several of them. I like the 870 express tactical the best. It really is ideal for home defense because it is so safe. Generally, all you have to do is rack the pump once and the intruder leaves the premises. The sound of a pump shotgun is unmistakable. All you have left to do is clean the burglar poop off the floor afterwards. Generally speaking, that’s better than raising an argument of self-defense. That can only happen if you find yourself on trial. Remember what they say about an ounce of prevention and a pound of cure.

Author’s Note: Recommendations #1 and #2 are for concealed carry. Recommendations #3 and #4 are for car defense. Recommendation #5 is for home defense. Recommendations #1, #2, #3, #4, and #5, are also useful for blowing stuff up just for the heck of it.

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