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OPINION

Rumors of a Successful Obamacare Enrollee

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

What do mythical figures and Obamacare enrollees have in common? (Have you heard this one before?) The Miami Herald calls them “urban-legends.” Others have called them “non-existent.” One thing is for sure: They are certainly rare. People who have successfully enrolled through the now comically plagued exchanges are unsurprisingly difficult to track down.

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According to the Miami Herald, “individuals who have successfully used the choked-up website to enroll for a subsidized health insurance plan have reached a status akin to urban legend: Everyone has heard of them, but very few people have actually met one.”

And that’s not just true for the Sunshine State. Over the weekend the Associated Press reported that no one had signed up in a number of states, including my home state of New-New-York (Colorado). Although, in all fairness, reports have emerged that as many as 220 people might have signed up in the Centennial state since the exchange’s launch date.

Which brings us to another point: Colorado spent over $21 million touting the abysmal contraption known to the general public as “Obamacare.” So-called “outreach” efforts were launched at churches, schools, the DMV, and anywhere else $21 million in taxpayer money can put such campaigns. All for, what? . . . 226 enrollees?

While I might not be a genius on a slide rule, it seems that the outreach was a less-than-stellar investment of taxpayer dollars – Millions of taxpayer dollars spent in an effort to encourage dependency on an atrociously written government implemented program that will cost more taxpayer dollars. . . And worse yet: They were unsuccessful! Government achieved an advertising conversion rate of roughly one person for every $100,000 spent in New-New-York. Not to belabor the point; but it seems a private enterprise might have to consider closing up shop with such a conversion rate.

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But, this is the government! Cost effectiveness, customer satisfaction, and efficiency aren’t exactly driving forces. The implementation (or, rather, the attempted implementation) of Obamacare is illustrative of government’s divorce from everything that makes the private sector work. While private business would be destroyed by such disastrous “glitches”, government trudges onward like a slow motion train wreck.

Even Robert Gibbs, former Obama Inc. employee, has said “someone should get fired” over the grotesque launch of the President’s signature piece of legislation. Of course, in the private sector, a $21 million advertising blitz that nets 226 customers most likely would lead to bankruptcy - and consequent joblessness for everyone associated with the disaster.

The anecdotal nature of Obamacare’s failure is as useful as it is pitiful. If ever there was doubt about government’s capacity to solve any politician-declared problem, the horrendous launch of the ironically named “Affordable Care Act” should cement that doubt as concrete fact.

The massive takeover of healthcare is no different than the Social Security system (which would land an Insurance proprietor in prison if implemented in the Private Sector), food-stamps (which is plagued with more fraud than a Chicago mayoral election), or any other government entitlement program. And while free market pressures would bring a justified end to equally incompetent private enterprises, it is going to quite literally take an act of Congress to rid the American Citizens of Obamacare’s incompetency.

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But, at least a handful of elusive enrollees are joining the ranks of the “dependent” class; which is good news for any political party that depends on government-dependent citizens (ahem*Democrats*ahem). . . After all, such a party might need every vote they can get in 2014.

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