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OPINION
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They So Want Climate Change to Be a Thing

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Susan Walsh

Oh my goodness, it was warm during the summer! Not just warm, but the warmest warm that ever was! Yes, it’s an emergency, a crisis, the mostest baddest hotness that ever happened in the history of ever. Time to give up plastic straws and cars and hot water heaters – that’s the latest one – because Professional Licensed Scientists™ tell us we must, or else the penguins will burst into flames. Or something.

Climate change is #Science, and you know that because the very same people who lied to you about literally everything else, from Wall Street to Iraq to the Wuhan Flu, told you so. By the way, they are now grudgingly sort of admitting it was from the Wuhan lab after denying it for years and calling you a racist for thinking that a bat-virus respiratory disease that happened to originate within a few blocks of a major Chinese lab doing bat-virus respiratory disease might have something to do with the major Chinese lab doing bat-virus respiratory disease instead of with people nibbling on whatever pangolins are.

Now, hurry up and forget the unbroken track record of lies our institutions have told us and quickly sign over your money and freedom to the same people who have lied to you non-stop for decades. Remember, it’s #Science, although the application of the scientific method, as it was understood before it became a political bludgeon to pummel you into submission and serfdom, would call for us to look at the data, and all the data tells us that everything the people pushing climate change have told us about everything else is a lie and a scam. Accordingly, Occam’s razor – not the thing Hunter uses to line up his yeyo on the mirror but the principle that the simplest answer is probably the right answer – would indicate that this is yet another lie designed to steal our freedom and money. 

By the way, the Venn diagram of institutional actors telling you that we have to make all sorts of sacrifices because of climate change RIGHT NOW, NO TIME TO WAIT OR DEBATE, and telling you that Hunter’s laptop was disinformation is a circle.

Understand what we are talking about. It is not whether the climate changes. It does. It has been hotter and colder because it goes in cycles. When we say climate change is a hoax – and it is one of the most pernicious hoaxes in the history of humanity, right up there with socialism – we are referring to the claim and attendant actions based on the lie that climate change is essentially manmade and that these changes require the immediate transformation of society into a form that just happens to match the form of society these people wanted long before they started talking about global warming, and even before they were trying to do exactly the same things because of alleged global cooling.  

The climate change hoax is a vehicle for change they cannot impose any other way, and if you notice, these people are trying to get this change done in every way except the democratic one. They cannot win and, therefore, do not try to even bother with votes on the myriad horrible things they want to do to us in the name of controlling the weather. Most of it is regulatory, behind-the-scenes crap like bans on toilets that flush and light bulbs that light. Or it is executive orders – anything but flat-out democratic processes because they would have to face questions. Questions they cannot answer because their whole garbage movement is based on a lie. 

So, what is the right temperature for the Earth? Like, in specific degrees? I mean, if it’s getting “too hot” or “too cold” – again, I was alive in the seventies when that was #Science – then what degrees are “just right,” Goldilocks?

So, is man’s activity the primary factor controlling the rate and direction of climate change? What was when the Earth got cooler and warmer, and why are those non-factors now?

If it gets a couple of degrees warmer, so what? Instead of making major changes to society – again, Marxist ones that you want anyway – what is the dollar figure for amelioration as opposed to the dollar figure for transformative societal change?

China’s bringing on a coal plant every week or so – why again is my water heater going to cause the Earth to burst into flames?

So, meat is now bad, and we’re constantly told that the future is delicious bugs. We’re told that our cars and trucks are bad and we need to take public transportation. We’re told that our vacations are Earth murder. But I am kind of thinking that these sacrifices are only to come from us. Hey, if rising sea levels are so scary, why did the Obamas buy a beach house? Why do Leonardo DiCaprio and Frankenstein Kerry fly private jests to their climate summits? Why are normal Americans the ones who need to carry this burden instead of rich people or the damn Chi-Coms?

I know, I know – shut up and listen to the scientists. Those would be the ones who demanded we shut down our schools and wear masks? The same ones who swore to us the vaxx would prevent transmission? I’ve noticed a distinct lack of accountability for all the errors and lies they told us, so why again should I believe that if the scientists are wrong about #Science needing us to turn our country into a socialist green feudal nightmare there will be no accountability for that either? You know, maybe it’s not #Science, but I’ve noticed how people who lie and get away with it tend to lie again because they think they can get away with it.

So, save your climate idiocy. You get nothing except me idling my engine some more, even though your lies have resulted in gas being $5 a gallon. We need a president who will not play, which means a Republican one. Add “defeating the climate change hoax” to the list of reasons why we must get serious about nominating the strongest Republican in the general election. That is unless you want to eat bugs and ride buses with hobos.

Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get Inferno, the seventh book in the Kelly Turnbull Peoples Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, as well as his non-fiction book We’ll Be Back: The Fall and Rise of America.

My super-secret email address is Kurt.Schlichter@townhall.com

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