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OPINION
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Biden Is Far from Hitting Bottom

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AP Photo/Susan Walsh

Joe Asterisk Biden’s polling is in freefall and the good news is that there’s plenty of room for him to fall. We should celebrate his failure and laugh at the rapidly disintegrating liberal coalition fighting over the smoldering ruins of his shattered dreams.

Here’s the thing – leftism sucks. It never works, except for the few at the top pulling the strings and skimming the cash. For the rest, it’s always a disaster and it always slides down the slippery slope until it reaches Venezuela.

Last week, the Biden jobs report was as feeble as Biden himself. Now, the unemployment rate went down to 4.8%, which sounds good, but as those of us who know math understand, when you take people who are content to sit home on their Schumers collecting welfare and living off of government cheese out of the employment pool, the percentage of unemployed drops. Who knows where it would be if we cut off the spigot and these sponges had to get off their mom’s sofas and look for jobs –over 10% maybe? More?

And off our coasts, hundreds of ships with hundreds of thousands of containers are sitting waiting in the oceans to be unloaded. Thanks to COVID overreactions and the employee shortage caused by the Democrats paying people to be deadbeats, we are going to hit a major commodities crunch in the near future. Too bad our Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg is wrapped up in his post-partum activities and can’t you know, do his job.

I assume it’s all DeSantis’s fault, somehow.

And inflation is coming too. Hell, it’s here. I went out to buy some prime rib-eye and, long story short, $49.99 a pound. That was beef, not platinum, mind you. And I filled up my car – which I will likely buy at the end of my lease since you can’t get a new car right now – with 16 or so gallons for $76. That was awesome. And with the Democrats insisting on spending like $5 trillion bucks on the magic beans that they call “infrastructure,” we’re going to see inflation get worse and worse.

I assume that’s all DeSantis’s fault too, somehow.

Now, there are also the foreign policy disasters underway to consider. Afghanistan is back in the 7th century thanks to Biden and his hack generals, and we’ve still got Americans trapped there even though the regime media has moved on faster than Brian Stelter, who is a potato, charges into a doughnut shop. Iran will get the bomb and Biden’s clown car will be focused on stopping Israel from stopping the mullahs. China is going to nab Taiwan – it’s been sending flights of jets into Taiwanese airspace demonstrating that it’s not afraid of our Commander-In-Crusty – and we won’t do anything except be humiliated. Worse, stupid Joe, who is very, very stupid, might try to do something and we’ll end up with a carrier at the bottom of the ocean. In totally unrelated news, the Naval Academy recently had a speaker come and explain to our future admirals about the dangers of whiteness while in the Pacific, one of our nuclear subs ran into something. Defeat ahoy!

Then there’s COVID, which I seem to remember was going to be gone through the power of Trump’s vaccine and magic thanks to Biden, and lo and behold more people seem to have cacked since he took over in the wake of the world’s lamest insurrection than during evil Donald Trump’s reign. There’s no end of masks in sight, and as more people get vaccinated the left is increasing its fascist insistence that those who #resist forced injections conform. Fauci is still running his lie-hole, and the left never wants this crisis to end.

South of the border, which no longer exists, hundreds of thousands of Third World peasants are headed north for free stuff. The media can’t hide the tsunami, and it’s already cost the Dems formerly deep-blue south Texas. Some smart Dems are panicking because they are seeing Hispanics going Republican, largely over the border and how Democrats keep saying that men can get pregnant, something sensible Hispanics can’t deal with. Latinx = ex-Democrat.

Oh, and then there’s CRT and that’s inflaming housewives across the country, including some of the liberal frigid ones whose terrible election choices helped create the problem in the first place. Being all lib is fine until young Kaden comes home and announces that mommy is racist and that some men can be mommies and xe wants to be one too.

Basically, everything is terrible for Biden and that is good for us. We’re going to cream them next year. And no, election fraud is not going to save them. Remember that election fraud was centered in about six big, blue cities and it was made possible because the stupid GOP leadership utterly failed to get lawyers in long before the election to fight the Democrat-sponsored lawsuits changing how we voted. Everywhere else, we did great, and if Ronna McDaniel spends some of that huge pile of cash she got to protect election integrity on election integrity – starting now, not the day after the election like last time – we can nip a bunch of the problems in the bud.

Further, many of our Republican legislatures are doing the right thing and gerrymandering the hell out of the red states. It’s important to maximize Republican seats at the expense of liberal voters – I know this because Democrats are in the process of maximizing Democrat seats at the expense of conservative voters in blue states. Florida should give us a bunch of new seats all by itself. And this time, DeSantis can take the blame – by which I mean credit.

Now, the out-of-power party typically loses seats in a mid-term, and here Pelosi only has a few seats to lose to begin with, so we have a huge structural advantage even before they start screwing up the country even more. My pals in the politics business are slobbering over next year – they think we are going to wipe the Dems out, and this makes me smile.

We also have a secret weapon – great candidates. My pal Robby Starbuck is running in Tennessee. Fellow Army guy Sean Parnell is running for Senate in PA over some Clinton-Republican hack. And veteran Adam Laxalt (DeSantis’s roommate in the Navy), who I worked with lawyering for the president in Las Vegas after the election, has a great opportunity to take back Nevada. 

So, be happy, because Biden would be really, really sad right now…if he wasn’t a demented old weirdo who has no idea what a Schiffshow his administration has become.

The sixth Kelly Turnbull conservative action thriller, The Split, shows what happens when America splits into red and blue countries. Get all six bestsellers, including People's Republic, Indian Country, Wildfire, Collapse, and Crisis!

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