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We Now Have the Worst President of the Last Century

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
AP Photo/Susan Walsh

At least one dude is happy right now – Jimmy Carter. But only because, as the choppers chopper out the remainder of our folks from Kabul (at least the ones not about to be taken prisoner), it is undeniable that the semi-lucid weirdo who is marginally our president is so terrible that Jimbo is no longer the worst prezzy of the last century. 

So, Carter’s got that going for him, which is nice.

“Ackshaully,” the bloated hacks of Conservative, Inc., would observe, “Saigon fell under Gerald Ford.” True, you Doritos-huffing losers, and also irrelevant. Iran fell under Jimmy Carter, and while there were no rhyming pix of US choppers lifting evacuees off the Tehran embassy roof…

“Ackshaully, the helicopters in Kabul landed on the embassy grounds and not the roof, so it’s different.”

As I was saying, there were no rhyming pix of US choppers lifting evacuees off the Tehran embassy roof, but considering that our diplomats got held prisoner for 444 days by the mullahs * now wants to pay billions, the clusterfark the peanut farmer oversaw was even worse.

Yes, the stench of failure with this ridiculous simulacrum of an administration is just like that of the out-of-his-depth dork from Plains, except it is a hundred times as pungent. Where Carter’s stink was mere Mandom, this reek is pure Sex Panther.

Let’s review.

American humiliation by a bunch of Third-World peasants – check!

Potential hostage crisis compounding the humiliation – check!

Inflation – check!

Embarrassing relative – snort!

Economic doldrums – checks for not working!

Terrible music and fashions – check!

Malaise – check check checkity check!

But President Asterisk is not satisfied to merely mirror Billy’s brother’s foibles. He’s going to take it even further!

Massive institutional failure – check!

Pandemic incoherence and incompetence – check your vaccine passport!

Open borders – sí!

A lapdog media – check!

Racial hate – Malcom Che-X!

Bizarre social pathologies elevated to policy imperatives – check!

Weather paranoia – checkarooni!

Declaring war on the other half of America – checkarino!

At this point, we’re past the mere longing for some more mean tweets. We’re ready for Jimmy Carter Part 2: Revenge of the Twerps.

There’s *’s legacy – he’s worse than Jimmy Carter.

Mull that over in your head. This guy makes us long for the days of that preachy twit who has now shriveled into Frodo-hood.

I’m old. I remember Jimmy Carter and the Seventies. You whippersnappers look back on it as history; I lived it, albeit in middle and high school. You think of disco music and hilarious lapels. But you gloss over the grime, the decay, the sense that America had once been great and now everything was falling apart. There was crime, but no will to fight it. There was bloat, and everything felt weighted down and old. It was not cool and not fun. It was ugly and depressing. And we’re there now once again. Except worse.

Name an institution that works. Name one that hasn’t failed us. Just two years ago they would take a poll about our institutions and, right there at the top, would be our military. Do you think that woke wreck of an organization would rate that today? Our ally, that we spent 20 years propping up and training and preparing for just this moment, melted away like the illusions of liberalism do every time they are exposed to the hot rays of reality. Yeah, the military would probably still rank highest in terms of the faith of the American people, but that’s not an accolade for America’s Woke Corps. It’s an indictment of every other institution and how badly they fail to measure up.

We’re treading water, people, treading water in a cesspool of the refuse generated by our failed ruling class. This is on them. Don’t let them shift the blame. They are already trying to blame you.

You won’t wear a mask.

You’re racist.

You voted for Trump.

It’s always something, and in the end, the something boils down to you. You, the powerless ones ignored, if not actively persecuted, by the Establishment that is somehow always to blame for whatever goes wrong even though everything that has gone wrong – that is, everything – is controlled by the same inept, corrupt, and inexplicably arrogant ruling caste.

They did this. They did this all. It was their idea to install, via a manifestly rigged election, a wretched zombie who has to hideout in Camp David as Afghanistan collapses because when he did start talking, he managed, as amazing as it sounds, to make it worse. 

They are awful, all of them. Obama, Bush, the Clintons – they’re all pals now, but they were all pals then too. Class trumps everything; they may fight for power but to their class they remain steadfastly loyal. Some pretend to be conservative, some pretend to be liberal, but now they don’t even pretend not to be serving the same status quo that makes them rich and kills your kids for nothing in Whatthehellistan fighting Liz Cheney’s wars.

You didn’t get an invite to Barack’s birthday party, and you never will.

It is unsustainable, which is good, because what cannot be sustained will not be sustained. We’re riding this express train to the end of the line, folks, and maybe they don’t know that it runs through Cloward-Piven country but it absolutely does. The contradictions are heightening; the media can lie forever, but it can’t make us all believe the lie forever.

The change will come. It can’t not come. Remember, just five years after the last embassy dust-off, America elected Ronald Reagan.

The sixth Kelly Turnbull conservative action thriller, The Split, shows what happens when America splits into red and blue countries. Get all six bestsellers, including People's RepublicIndian CountryWildfireCollapse, and Crisis!

My super-secret email address is kurt.schlichter@townhall.com.


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