Who, exactly, was Paul Ryan trying to appeal to when he recently went to the Reagan Library and tried to explain why we should return to the kind of managed decline and failure theater that his rejection marked the end of as a viable Republican leadership strategy? Okay, the Beltway Cowgirl would dig his hep jive, and her soon-to-be-gerrymandered-by-the-Dems stooge Adam Kinzinger too, and the erotically dysfunctional geebos at The Bulwark are all in, but who else?
Cue the tumbleweeds.
The GOP managed to display some stones for once – no thanks to the aforementioned squish squad – by rejecting the Democrat kangaroo court designed to distract attention from President *’s inability to perform as a man and as a chief executive by endlessly rehashing the mini-surrection. All the smart people in the smart set warned that this welcome spinal manifestation could be the straw that gets Joe Manchin to go back on his word and vote to end the filibuster. Pffft – I wish.
Also, I made pulled pork. You need to hear about this, as it is more important than anything Paul Ryan will ever say or do again.
Paul Ryan Urges Return to 2006 and Defeat
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Where are all the Republicans yearning to return to that time before we fought back?
I don’t think they exist in any substantial numbers outside of Twitter, K Street, and MSNBCNN green rooms. But Paul Ryan was at it again, complaining about how the GOP should stop dealing with the so-called “cultural issues” that involve our freedoms and right to live as we choose, like CRT, transmania, crime, and illegal alien invasions, and that are important to us. Instead, Ryan argues that we should focus on the issues that are important to his corporate donors, though he never puts it quite that honestly.
Ryan & Co. always pretend this is about a cult of personality, something Ryan and his ilk would love to be the subject of if these establishment functionaries actually had any personality to speak of. When dorks like Ryan get up and start lecturing us about how Trump is not the future of the party, you don’t even need to reach the issue of whether we actually think Trump is “the future of the party.” This is not about Trump. Trump was always the avatar of our conservative-populist aspirations; the Ryan caucus calls it a “cult” because to admit this is not really about 45 is to admit that this is about their failure, and if there is one thing that distinguishes these losers it is their total inability to admit that the responsibility for their fall from power lies entirely at their own tiny, webbed feet.
The first question to them should be, “What did you conserve, much less achieve, when your now-fractional faction led the party?” They never answer that question. Instead, they offer a sullen mish-mash of “muh principles,” “muh that’s not who we are,” and “muh Reagan.” I loved Reagan in the '80s. But it’s the 2020s, and just because a few mean tweets make you sissies wet your panties is no reason to let you hacks back behind the wheel to drive us into a ditch again.
These tired, fired frauds want power back, and their entire case for giving it back to them is that we in the base suck. I remain unconvinced by that particular line of argument, and so Paul Ryan can kiss my Mitt.
Go Ahead and Bust the Filibuster
The blue check press is practically turgid over the thought that they can convince Joe Manchin to make a liar of himself (and sacrifice his precarious Senate seat in deep red West Virginia) by breaking his word and letting them end the filibuster. Every time the Republicans use it (they did it once so far, in rejecting the ridiculous “muh insurekshun” kabuki theater) or threaten to use it, we get, “The GOP is showing it won’t work with us Democrats by rubber-stamping our socialist/fascist plot!” Unspoken is the fact that if the Republicans won’t use the filibuster for fear of losing the filibuster, a formal repeal is unnecessary.
I, for one, think that Manchin is really shafting us, though most (but not all – they are not all Duckworth or Hirono-level dumb) Dems and their blue check buddies don’t see that. I say throw us in the briar patch of no filibuster. Come on, Chucky, make it happen! What could go wrong?
Gym equipment S&M enthusiast Harry Reid lifted it for senior judges and, well, ouch. And the three SCOTUS judges we got on board now make country club “conservative” John Roberts even more irrelevant than he was before. Sure, the Dems would pass the Permanent Democrat Election Victory Law, and the honest judges Trump installed would strike the worst parts down. Same with a gun ban – hell, they look like they are about to make concealed carry a reality everywhere next term. And most of the rest of their Decline Deal would be trashed as well.
Chances are that we take the House next time, though I don’t put it past the GOP leaders to muck it up. With the economy crashing thanks to Jimmy Carter’s crustier doppelgänger, there’s a good chance we also take the Senate back in 2022. And DeSantis is going to clean the clock of Klockwatcher Harris in 2024 when she inevitable runs, either because * declines to do so or because he declines permanently.
So, dummies, please allow your short-term frustration with the rules and norms to cause you to try to push massive change through with a 50-vote plus a VP tiebreak thanks to abandoning the filibuster. Your “big things” will get quashed by the Court and come to naught. And then we will take over and hammer through our agenda with a five-vote SCOTUS thumbs up.
End the filibuster. Please. Put your singed paw back on the stove a second time. What are the chances of getting burned again, right?
Come on. I dare you.
Pulled Pork
So, some people enjoy internet video pornography. I enjoy internet videos involving meat. To be clear, I mean videos about new ways to cook beef and pork. I don’t do chicken, since I don’t like vegetables. And I don’t do fish because it’s utterly beyond me why anyone would ever choose to eat seafood on purpose, especially when he could be eating beef or pork.
So, I viewed a video by Sam the Cooking Guy on how to do a vinegary pulled pork sandwich. You can see his version here. My point here is to express my shock in admitting that I liked a pressure cooker cooked pork butt.
That sounds wrong. Not the “butt” part – we all know that’s a pork shoulder. The pressure cooker part. Shouldn’t pork prepared for pulling be smoked on a smoker? It sure can be, but here’s the thing – like most people, I don’t have a smoker. I do have a pressure cooker. Basically, the pressure cooker will turn firm, marbled pork butt into tender, juicy, tearable (but not terrible) pre-pulled pork in an hour. You do need to prepare it. You have to trim the fat. The fat is hard to tear, and too much fat is … too much. You can toss it in the cooker with the chicken broth you use as the liquid to preserve the flavor. You have to use a rub; the video gives one, and be generous with it! And you have to sear the pork before you cook it. I used my trusty cast-iron skillet instead of the cooker for this task.
Look, I know what you are thinking. I was thinking it too. Pressure cooker? Seriously? Hey, the proof is in the pulling, players.
Also, you can make the world’s best onion strings to go along with it by cutting them into real thin slices, soaking them for one hour-plus in buttermilk, rolling them in flour, and cooking them in oil. Careful, they burn quick, but the burned ones are good too.
You’re welcome.
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June will bring my sixth Kelly Turnbull action thriller, The Split. Get the most recent bestseller, Crisis, as well as my other four novels about what happens when America splits into red and blue countries, People's Republic, Indian Country, Wildfire, and Collapse!
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