Opinion VIP

The Murder Turtle Is Losing It

Posted: Jan 27, 2021 12:01 AM
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
The Murder Turtle Is Losing It

Source: AP Photo/Timothy D. Easley

What the hell happened to Mitch McConnell? The legislative stiletto-wielding assassin has spent the last three months stomping all over his schumer instead of their Schumer. This is bad – we need all hands on deck, and this guy is at the bridge steering the Titanic toward the iceberg. What the hey?

Also, comedy gold erupts as some leftist media degenerate starts telling Rangers who is and is not a Ranger and it just goes poorly for them.

Mitch, What Gives?

I was one of those rare defenders of Cocaine Mitch among the hardcore conservatives because, despite his Boehner-like love of the Establishment and disdain for the base, he got results. We’d have Justice Garland if McConnell did not have a set made of steel. The guy knows Senate procedure, he cannot be swayed by the garbage media, and he is utterly ruthless. These are admirable attributes and for the vast majority of the last few years he was right where we needed him even if we always kind of knew he would much prefer us proles not interfere in policy.

But he’s sure screwed up the last three months. Bad.

He botched the Senate races, doing okay in November (winning some tough races) but he nadlered Georgia. We were told, “Don’t worry, we have money and a great ground game,” but his refusal to confront the manifest irregularities associated with November came back to bite the GOP in January. And then there was his insanity in choosing to nickel and dime the $2,000 relief checks. What the hell was he thinking? If it was anyone else, I would wonder if he wanted to lose, but McConnell never wants to lose. So why the hell is he acting like he does?

I think Trump offends him to the core of his being, and I think he should grow up and get over it.

Oh, this is not to exonerate Trump for screwing up the post-election fight. He did. And his screw-up hurt us in Georgia. As the lawyers say, responsibility this fiasco is one of joint and several liability.

It was the January 6th thing where McConnell took his mistakes to a whole new level. Let’s be clear – the Capitol Hill thing was a mini-riot, not “Muh Insureckshun!” and he should have put a kibosh on that idiotic leftist meme. But no, he bought into it. He chose the institution over the people who sent him and his pals to be in the institution. The base is not wearing Thor costumes and did not bum rush the bums in Congress. As Justice Roberts has shown, choosing the institution over the people never, ever works. And to blame Trump for that brawl is obnoxious and substantively false. But McConnell did, buying into lefty propaganda. He should know better.

Plus, when some senators wanted to make a perfectly legitimate point by objecting to electors, something Democrats do with dull regularity, he spazzed. So much for the Senate being a place for debate. McConnell did more than just vote no, for which there were perfectly legit arguments. He took sides against the family.

So, that alienates the base. The big donors, the corporations, are all already going to the Democrats, so why not alienate the small money donors too? Great plan.

We know he never liked Trump. Trump did not hold him and the rest of the pompous clowns strutting about the Senate with what McConnell considered due regard. What he does not realize, because he neither cares about nor communicates with normal people, is that everyone hates the Senate and most of the senators.

We need the old Mitch McConnell back, now more than ever. He is the best Senate technician we have ever had, and technical skill matters. But the idea that he’s going to schmooze his way into success by sucking up to the Establishment and shafting us kulaks is a delusion. He needs to get his head right and get back in the game.

Tom Cotton, Ranger

I love when civilians try to do the Army thing and explain to us how things work. The latest was a coordinated hit on Tom Cotton, who they must truly be terrified of, trying to accuse him of falsely claiming to be a Ranger. Cotton’s a Ranger. That’s not meaningfully debatable even among soldiers, much less among leftist scribblers.

Now, I did not get to go to the Ranger School, so I have no dog in this fight, except I refuse to let fellow officers be slandered by pipsqueaks. 

The good thing was there was immediate pushback, including Ranger generals and Ranger command sergeant majors pointing out this was a lie. Now, you can believe Ranger generals and Ranger command sergeant majors, or you can believe the Onanger degenerate hacks who write for crappy commie blogs. Naturally, one Democrat congressman who is a Ranger joined in. And in the best blue falcon tradition, he lied about a fellow Ranger for the cheapest of political advantage.

What kind of man are you to sell out your peers so Nancy Pelosi pats you on the beret?

It’s pathetic. But to be a Democrat, you have to embrace being pathetic. It’s sad. But not surprising.

You should check out my newest novel Crisis, as well as my other four novels of America splitting into red and blue, People's Republic, Indian CountryWildfireand Collapse. With all this nonsense about “Muh insurreckshun!” you need to see how the liberal assault on America – and it is liberals assaulting it – might go down, and how it can be defeated!

My super-secret email address kurt.schlichter@townhall.com.