Opinion

Joe Should Have Stayed In His Basement

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Posted: Oct 23, 2020 11:00 PM
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Joe Should Have Stayed In His Basement

Source: AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

The only guy who had it worse than Joe Biden as a debater this week was Jeffrey Toobin. As the desiccated old weirdo staggered toward the finish line, Trump basically maneuvered him into making such bold moves as telling millions of people in the key Keystone State that he would rather suck up to California weather pagans than keep Pennsylvania working families fed. Not the strategy I would choose, but then I’m not a senile incompetent with a 47-year track record of failure, corruption, and terrible hair.

It’s not clear that Trump really had to do anything in this debate except not Nadler himself on national TV. With the exception of some of the media polls, the momentum is all in his direction, and the president is out holding rally after rally while Gropey J is sitting in his basement wrapped in a shawl watching episode after episode of Matlock. Joe took four days out of the last 15 days of the campaign to prep for last night’s disaster and that performance was as good as he could get. If America is dumb enough to elect him, all Putin has to do is drag out a summit for two hours and, before he nods off, Oldfinger will sign Alaska back to the Russians.

One of the many problems with the mainstream media saying “The hell with it – let’s stop pretending and go all in for the Dems” is that it makes Democrat candidates lazy. They are so used to the gentle strokes of the media masseuses that they always sit there expecting the happy ending. But a debate is not like one of those sparsely attended Biden media events where a few licensed and approved mainstream media journalists obediently sit in their circles and ask him tough questions like, “Do you feel your strongest attribute is your integrity, your experience, or your raw animal sexuality?” while ignoring the crack addict in the room holding a sack with a dollar sign on it.

Trump, despite the fruitless efforts of Kristen Welker (who leapt over the low bar set by Chris Crowley Wallace and Steve Hacked Scully) to rein him in, was not going to show his belly like Mitt Romney did. He was going to take it to Joe, and the aging hack couldn’t handle it. Here’s a pretty basic thing – don’t be taped promising all your pinko supporters that you will totally end fracking and then deny it and challenge your opponent to show the tapes. See, he will

And despite all the efforts to suppress the truth by your pals at MSNBCNN and the Facetwit, the people heard the truth about Hoover’s laptop, many for the first time. That’s why today a bunch of media mediocrities are mad at Welker and mad at Biden for showing up and giving Trump a chance to talk to the people the media has been hiding the real Donald Trump – and his record – from.

So, what else did we learn last night?

We learned that Pennsylvania is expendable to the Democrats and his priority is pleasing a bunch of blue state cultist who think the weather in the year 2387 is more important than good jobs for working class folks.

We learned, much to our surprise, that nobody lost their health plan because of Obamacare. Here’s our deal – Trump gets the vote of everybody who lost their health plan because of Obamacare. Biden, who is now pushing something called BidenCare, should totally agree to that because there are, of course, zero people who lost their plan because of Obamacare. Well, at least zero that he knows, but then he doesn’t get out much.

We learned that Joe doesn’t deny that his son got $3.5 million from some Russian politician and that it was absolutely OK that he got paid off by the Ukrainians because Hoover is clearly a super-achiever of achievement with a lot of things going for him besides his accident of birth.

We learned that a bunch a Twitter blue checks with very strong opinions about illegal immigration don’t know what “coyotes” are. This is a lot like a foreign policy expert who’s never seen a globe. And we never got clarity on who actually built those cages. Come on Joe, who built those cages?

The fact is that Trump came in with the intent of looking presidential and not allowing technique to overcome the substance, as many critics said he did in the first debate, which I loved because I like seeing Democrats pummeled. Trump came off as in total command of the facts and as personable – remember that there is nobody with more experience in front of a camera in American public life than our president. What he wanted to do was give wavering people cover to vote for him, and he did.

That he was able to tell the voters in the vital state of Pennsylvania to remember that Joe Biden wants to put them out of work was simply the cherry on top.

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