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OPINION

Nobody Is Switching from Trump to Biden

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Evan Vucci

The Grandpa Badfinger Turgid Poll Lead Fact Check Test is this: Do you know anyone who has gone from supporting Donald Trump in 2016 to supporting that basement-dwelling commie puppet weirdo in 2020?

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I know zero people.

I don’t mean “practically zero” or “a few.” I mean zero. Nil. None. That blank is emptier than the space between Gropey J’s ears.

Now is this scientific? Am I denying science again? You know, the science that has Trump ahead in the polls that tended to be more on-target in 2016 and a dozen points back in the mainstream media outlets’ polls that invariably support the mainstream media outlet’s political agendas? That science?

No, it’s not scientific. It’s anecdotal, but then when it comes to the mainstream media, I’d always believe an anecdote over what the media is telling me. Of course, I’d believe a guy trying to sell me magic beans if the New York Times ran a story trashing him.

Let’s take a moment to reflect on what utter garbage the mainstream media, how it is a bubbling cauldron of bovine processed pasture reeking of lies and liberalism. You won’t see any evidence of the migration away from the failed Democrat establishment there. You’ll barely see any coverage of that doddering, demented freak babbling his way through sparsely attended photo ops on the rare occasions he staggers out of his creepy sex dungeon to go visit a racist nut (BTW, Google tries really, really hard to ensure you can’t easily find stories chronicling this guy’s long history of pro-Farrakhan, anti-Semitic, anti-white, and anti-Christian idiocy).

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What you’ve seen are coordinated anonymous-sourced stories designed to distract from The Botox Bloweroutter’s staggering hypocrisy, the plunging unemployment numbers, and the aforementioned evidence that Oldfinger is a mush-guzzling Matlock junkie fit not for the Oval Office but for a room upstairs where he can watch his stories in peace whilst wearing a shawl.

If only someone would write a book on the defamation agenda of our trash elite and its media gimps titled, say, The 21 Biggest Lies about Donald Trump (and You!).

But the slander flex is no longer working. The “Trump hates the vets” lie lasted about 12 hours and then died. Gone. Kaput. No one bought it, not even its purveyors. No one switched sides because of this manifest bullSchiff, except maybe toward Trump. No one said “Yeah, the party that parties with Jane Fonda is the party us vets should back.” Particularly amusing was the Democrat’s new position on the Vietnam War. They are now for it again, which completes the circle since they started it and lost it. Also hilarious was the idea you were going to make conservatives like Trump less because he said mean things about John McCain. Put that right up there with “Trump nailed Playboy playmates!” on the “This is not going to work out how you think it will” shelf.

The fact is no one is moving to Biden. No one is saying “Sure, I love Trump’s leadership in foreign policy, his rebuild of the military, his ending endless wars, his tax cuts, the economy, the regulatory reform, the protection of speech, religious and gun rights, and the conservative judges, but, you know, then The Atlantic came along and assured us that four anonymous sources implied that Trump was insufficiently reverent toward some guys who were in World War I and now I have no choice but elect the Marxist marionette who can’t keep his fingers to himself.”

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No one.

No one is falling for this. The only effect is that it makes us all eager to low-crawl over the shattered glass of a thousand of Biden’s Ensure bottles to pull the lever for President Trump.

This desperate lying is not proof of strength but of weakness. And the Democrats are desperate because the wheels have come off the rickety Rascal that is the Biden campaign. The evidence is clear. Blacks are refusing to fall into line behind the Democrats and significant numbers are abandoning his sinking ship. Hispanics are rejecting Democrats. Suburbanites are realizing that electing that desiccated plagiarist with a 47-year track record of DC failure means defunded cops, hi-fived crooks, and riots in their neighborhoods. Oh, and taxes going up as their 401(k)s go down, the latter not mattering much since the Democrat platform/manifesto promises to trash their retirement savings program.

Who are the people leaving Trump? Where are they? The media trots out the same pack of rejected ex-GOP losers every few weeks under some new banner – “Republicans for Decency,” “Decent Republicans Against Trump,” “Trump-Hating Republicans for Biden and Decency,’” or “Decent Decency People of Decency Who Were Republican But Aren’t Now Because of Trump, Who Is Not Decent.” These inflatable goofs all hated Trump in 2016 for derailing their gravy train. These were the cruise ship conservatives who spent decades conserving nothing except their own tacky sinecures – and they hate him still today. They are many things, all bad, but they are not recent converts to the Democrat cult.

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No one is leaving Trump for Biden. I poll folks on Twitter and masculinity-challenged libs with pronouns in their bios solemnly inform me that their parents back in Kansas who were life-long Republicans have been compelled, sorrowful at their party having lost its way, to vote for the crusty crustacean because of his horrible horribleness. But it’s pretty clear that mom and dad back in Topeka only told young Kaden this because if they told him the truth – that ma and pa were all aboard the Trump Train – he would start crying and embarrass them all over again.

You can’t believe the polls. If the media will lie about everything else, lying about a poll to help their zombie get elected is hardly a lie too far – and there is literally no other evidence supporting the notion that the Democrats might win. Biden is buyin’ air time in states all the smart people of smartness informed us were in the bag. He’s emerged from his crypt and engaged in at least the simulacrum of a campaign. His signs are nowhere to be seen while Trump signs are popping up. I even saw one on a house here in Ted Lieu’s district. But most of all, no one’s abandoning Trump.

The Democrats are in a panic. You’re seeing it when they drop stale stories “supported” by mystery sources that even carbohydrate-curious losers like Brian Stelter, who is a potato, says ought to come out and speak their lies in public. They got nothing.

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We got this. We’re winning. Now let’s run up the score. Let’s take back the House (If you live in a hell district like me, give money to a guy like Army vet Sean Parnell who is running in a district we can win). Let’s see those liberal tears flow on election night! 

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