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Give Up Your Guns Because Democrats Will Totally Protect You

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
AP Photo/ Rick Bowmer

Watching the Minneapolis Police Department abandon its precinct to the torch and crowbar-wielding peaceful protesters in that Democrat-run state and city, my first thought was that I should disarm. After all, I have been reliably informed by our smart and competent elite betters that I don’t need firearms because the police will protect me, and I am sure that even though they can’t defend their own police station they will absolutely defend me, my family, and our pet unicorn Chet.


Confusingly, I have also been reliably informed that the police are evil monsters of racism and badness and that they should be the only ones with guns because of reasons that I am not clear on, but I do know that our smart and competent elite betters know better. If you have any doubts about that, just look at the urban paradise that is progressive Minneapolis. I hear the zoo has a new unicorn exhibit.

But hey, what do you expect of a place that elects noted sister-wife Ilhan Omar?

Now, if I was cynical, I might doubt both the intentions and the competence of the Democrat elite and its media minions, who stood in front of burning and looted buildings solemnly informing us that the people contributing to the conflagration were socially-conscious activists registering their dissatisfaction with the Democratic city’s policing tactics by stealing big screen Vizios and bottles of Jack Daniels. There was a lot of giddy joy in the destruction among the blue check nomenklatura, at least until the peaceful protestors tried to peacefully burn down CNN and turn Tater Stelter into a French fry. Violence is so much more fun when it’s not you being violated.

In any case, our liberal elite handled this crisis about as well as the blue state govs handled the pangolin pneumonia – terribly. Cowardice, incompetence, moral illiteracy. You would feel sorrier for the urban victims of these Democrat clowns if these urban victims of these Democrat clowns hadn’t gone and elected and reelected these Democrat clowns. Weird how none of this is going on in a city controlled by Republicans, but don’t worry – the garbage media was there to assure us that this is all Donald Trump’s fault because of course it was. It’s all lies, but lies about Trump are all the Dems and media have.


Despite their compelling argument to the contrary – that we normal Americans, the kind that don’t riot, are a bunch of racist, Jesus-loving Neanderthals who should be grateful for the elite’s benevolent rule over us and anything that goes wrong is because the Orange Man is Bad – I still tend to think that we ought to keep our guns. In fact, I think we healthy, law-abiding citizens all ought to buy guns and ammunition, preferably in bulk.

Call me cautious, or crazy, or conscious, but we have a leftist elite that thinks the First Amendment does not apply to us. Our free speech rights don’t extend to hurt their feelz, and our religious rights are subordinated to performative paranoia over an over-hyped virus. We have a leftist elite that is outraged about the idea of due process for the accused, unless the accused is their badfingered, desiccated, and cringy POTUS candidate. And we have a leftist elite that claps like trained seals whenever thugs burn stuff down and that generally considers us normal citizens the scum of the earth.

I would prefer not to be at the mercy of people who hate me and deny that I have any rights or legitimate interests. In fact, I am going to have to insist that I not be at their mercy. And the way to do that is to deny these aspiring oppressors a monopoly on force, just like the Founders envisioned.

But isn’t this idea of militant American citizens packing heat for freedom an anachronism? Only to people who never heard of Vietnam or Afghanistan. One of my favorite aspects of social media life is hearing from futon fighting force generals who have never fired a gun and are even afraid to play Call of Duty because it reinforces patriarchal gender roles. Their insight, when one mentions the need of all healthy, law-abiding citizens to buy guns and ammunition, is to insist that a bunch of civilians with AR-15s could never hope to prevail against the forces of the government which they hope to enlist in their cause of oppressing the American people. Except in Minneapolis, a bunch of disorganized scumbags packing torches and crowbars just ran a precinct of cops out of their building.


Even adjusting for the manifest incompetence of the Minneapolis PD, starting with the mayor and working on down to the flatfoots who apparently don’t understand the concept of breathing, that’s not exactly a ringing endorsement of the idea that we might as well just give up our rights if the fearsome agents of tyranny so demand. The fact is that an armed population is an essentially unbeatable force that would outnumber and outgun any outlaws claiming government authority who chose to violate their oath and wage war upon American citizens.

Hell, in Minneapolis, a bunch of knuckleheads basically raised their voices and won. Despite the protests of the Prissy Pattons of Progressivism, a bunch of citizens with rifles (many of whom are vets) is a pretty fantastic deterrent to those who think they can steal our liberty.

The Chinese coronavirus fiasco, the shocking killing of George Floyd, and the riots resulting from Democrat failure have taught the American people several things. One is that a surprising and sad number of law enforcement officers are willing to follow cheesy, stupid, and unconstitutional orders. A quick tour of social media will horrify you with the damage done to that support by video of stupid cops hassling civilians for going outside or trying to attend church. The people who long backed the blue feel stabbed in the back, and LEOs are going to have to work to earn back the support they lost because a lot of their comrades sided with Democrat bullies against the people. 


Similarly, we have learned that the police are not necessarily going to be there for us. From that gooey tub of cowardice in Florida who let kids be murdered while he stood with a weapon outside the school – I can’t even type those words without sputtering in rage – to the MPD running away and letting criminals burn their building, do you feel comfortable putting your lives in the hands of such government employees? The one inspirational sight during the riots was a bunch of black Americans with modern rifles defending their businesses. That’s so American that it couldn’t be more American if there were eagles, a 1964 Mustang, and a Ted Nugent soundtrack cranking. 

Gun control began with Democrats trying to control black Americans. Gun control today is Democrats trying to control all Americans. And that’s not going to happen. Buy guns and ammunition, because there can be no truly free people that is not also an armed people.

Join Townhall VIP  and pre-order my hilarious and mean new Regnery book, The 21 Biggest Lies about Donald Trump (and You!), then check out my hit conservative novels People's Republic, Indian Country, Wildfire and Collapse, which chronicle America falling apart thanks to the Democrats’ antics. So technically, they are future nonfiction. Also, Townhall VIP members should get my podcast “Unredacted” every Monday and my free podcast “Fighting Words.”

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