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OPINION

The Dems Are Right. Americans Find Annoying Liberal Women Very Annoying.

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Matt Rourke

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Mark your calendars because today is the day Townhall Senior Columnist Kurt Schlichter agreed with Big Chief Warren and Scat Francisco Congresscreature Nancy Pelosi. Yes, they are correct that Americans rejected Sitting Bolshevik because she was a woman, specifically, because she was a very, very annoying woman who, besides her track record of tacky lies, was very, very annoying in a uniquely female way. Putting aside that she is the Bud Light of faculty lounge socialism, Americans had no desire to spend four years with some national librarian in the Oval Office pestering us about using our inside voices and demanding that we share the toys we bought with the kids who broke theirs.

She comes across as hella school-marmy, and the fact is that marms identify as female.

Of course, the male-identifying Crusty Commie Curmudgeon and Not-Senile Joe are annoying too. Like special snowflakes, Democrats are all irritating in their own special ways. But it’s true that Warren, and other females like Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit, are tiresome in specific ways unique to women. See, men and women are different, so awful men and awful women can bother us in different ways. 

This is where the libs freak out because I am pointing out the indisputable fact that men and women are different – an observation Warren would outlaw if she ever got power, which she won’t because the vast majority of Americans find her very irritating. I agree with the liberal feminists who insist that men and women are different, though they do it in order to caterwaul that women are better than men. I disagree with that. Men and women are equally terrible when they are liberal, but sometimes they are terrible in ways unique to their gender identification.

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For example, liberal men like “Peyronie Bill” Clinton can be especially foul because of their parody of true masculinity. Tapping the barely legal help to sooth one’s “anxiety” is a different and uniquely male kind of annoying that one would not expect from a female pol. In contrast, women like Elizabeth Kimosabe project this condescending aura of XX chromosome nannyism that resonates within the deep archetypes of our souls and evokes that middle-aged, divorced fifth-grade teacher who had pics of her seven cats on her desk and tried to teach us about Kwanzaa.

So, when Warren and others insinuated, as she reached the end of her trail of phony beers and quit the race, that the reason for her total defeat was that Americans would not vote for a woman, she was partially right. Americans would not vote for a woman like her because she is a very, very annoying woman. The same is true of Stumbles McMyturn. We dislike her too because she is annoying, and it’s a very specifically female kind of annoying.

No, it was not that they are too smart for us rubes to handle. A least we can find Wisconsin. No, it wasn’t that they are too competent for us to deal with. None of us had to take a DNA test to try to prove our Tontohood. No, they aren’t too real and blew our minds with their hardcore realness. They were as real as the swank Guchi handbag that guy from Lagos in Times Square can let you have for just $20.

No, they reminded Americans of their ex-wives, including American women and American men like me who don’t have ex-wives. It’s not misogyny to not want to deal with their personal psychodramas and tedious nagging. It’s sanity preservation.

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Now, the libs will call this unarguably correct analysis “sexist,” but no matter what, they will call you “sexist” anyway. Who cares? Apparently, we are allowed to point out the unique specialness of women as opposed to men, and that’s fair because women are unique and special compared to men. But if they can be different in good ways, then they can also be different in bad ways, yet we are not supposed to say that. So, make sure you say it, and loudly. 

Poor Tulsi Gabbard – always abused and always cheated by the Dem establishment precisely because she does not come across as annoying in a specifically female way. I find her politics utterly wrongheaded and that’s why I won’t support her in an election, but she seems like a generally pleasant person who has no interest in trying to aggressively nurture me into becoming what she considers a better human being. That’s the thing about people like Warren. They always presume to try to “improve” you. Perhaps part of Liz n’ Hillary’s appeal to liberals is their secular church lady vibe. Whatever turns your crank, I guess, but count me and most Americans out.

It makes no sense to try to disabuse the Dems of their woe-is-me-cuz-misogyny delusions. The members of its limo lib gentry wing are never happier than when they can feign oppression too, and the total failure of the fake Indian is giving them multiple oppressgasms. Moreover, you should never interrupt your enemy when he, she, or whatever is the pronoun du jour is, is making a mistake. The fact is that the first female to be elected president will be a Republican. Maybe it will be Nikki Haley, provided she gets woke to the need to fight. Maybe it will be Liz Cheney, because she will strike down our enemies with a furious vengeance. But it will be a Republican, and it will not be an annoying one.

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Annoying Democratic women, men, and gender indeterminate entities, all make appearances in my latest conservative thriller, Collapse, and in the other entries in the best-selling series, People's Republic, Indian Country, and Wildfire. These action-packed and hilarious novels describe an America post-liberal victory, with all the failure and misery that entails, and the fight for freedom. Get them all, and also check out my Townhall VIP podcast, “Unredacted” every Monday as well as my new Hugh Hewitt-affiliated Salem podcast, “Fighting Words”!

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