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Conservatives Think They Have This Election Won

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
AP Photo/ Evan Vucci

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You would have thought that the vibe at CPAC this year would involve stressing about our November election prospects, but even as the market dipped over the coronavirus scare the general consensus was that whether we face Vermont Stalin or that miserable monied midget, we got this. 

The common image of conservatives is one of dour pessimism, but that is less due to some inherent doom-mongering on the right than to the decades of failure by Conservative Inc. Under the wise, steady guidance of our establishment betters, all we did was lose, but Donald Trump gave the cons a taste of winning, and they like it. At CPAC, you could feel the excitement. In contrast, just down the road, the Losercon remnants held their “National Summit on Principled Conservatism,” oblivious of the fact that if you abuse yourself with too much principled conservativing you will go blind.

The Democratic base seems intent on nominating an unreconstructed communist, and the Democrat elite seems intent on stealing the election and handing it over to Scrooge McSuck. This is going to be hilarious.

It is not a bad idea to take your opponents seriously, and anyone who gets a major party nomination can theoretically win. But if you look at someone like Bernie Sanders, a crusty anti-American weirdo who wants to take your money and give it to his doofus supporters, and you have to imagine that next year at CPAC, with Trump safely re-elected and the House back in our hands, we will be wondering what the hell the Democrats were thinking nominating Marxist Mondale.


Lots of Dem-leaning voters fashionably despise the president and enjoy their progressive posing, but Sanders actually believes the nonsense he’s spewing. He totally would take their doctors and SUVs, jack up their taxes, and hand them the bill for other people’s kids’ Oppression Studies degrees. Liberalism is all fine and dandy with them until they have to actually live it. Get ready for even more secret Trump voters as folks with fading “I’m With Her” stickers on their Teslas walk into the voting booth with their still-strong 401(k) numbers on their minds and flip the lever for The Donald.

Those folks probably would have been perfectly happy to submit to the furry shackles of the soft fascism of Soda-Banning Frodo. Bloomberg would keep their status and wealth intact and if the price is their freedom, well, okay. Some people are just pathetic submissives. And they might have the chance to sell out their liberty for a little fake security because the Democrat establishment totally gets that Sanders is not only a loser at the top of the ticket but his gooey commie ichor will trickle down defeat all the way to the bottom of the ballot. So, mark my words - they are going to try to steal the nomination that Sanders is winning fair and square and toss it to the tiny tycoon who will open his massive wallet and make it rain to make that happen.


And while many Sanders-inclined suckers will obediently obey the command to vote for the malignant dwarf in November, a bunch of Bernie Bros, Bernie Bro-ettes, and Bernie Gender Indeterminates will refuse to play. Neither can’t-idate can fully consolidate the Dems while Trump has the entire Republican Party behind him, save a few cruise-shilling hacks who lurk in the MSNBCNN green rooms impersonating conservatives.

This is no done deal, but all the talk about how “Bernie is really a dangerous opponent because reasons” is a bit much. Trump is going all-in already on his campaign, and that’s good, but simmer down. These Democrats have huge flaws that could lead to a McGovern-like wipeout. 

Yes, they are trying everything they can to derail the Trump Train. We’ve seen RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA 2.0 happen and then quickly unhappen. There’s the ridiculous attempt to blame Trump for the coronavirus, as if he went to China to make the locals slurp bat soup and lick pangolins. The pandemic meme won’t pan out. In a couple of months we will likely have forgotten it and moved on to new hyped-up atrocities. In the meantime, Trump will be getting us out of Afghanistan, a move the Dems will denounce because of Trump’s magical power to make liberals even stupider.


The 2020 vibe is good. We’re winning. We shouldn’t take anything for granted. Instead, we should run up the score and send Nancy Pelosi back to Scat Francisco for good.

Check out my latest conservative thriller, Collapse, along with the other entries in the best-selling series, People's Republic, Indian Country, and Wildfire. They describe the world if these goofs got their way, with all the failure and misery that entails, but with plenty of action and liberal bashing. Get them all, and also check out my Townhall VIP podcast, “Unredacted” every Monday as well as my new Hugh Hewitt-affiliated Salem podcast, “Fighting Words”!

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