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Time for Trump to Get His Godfather On

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
AP Photo/Evan Vucci

Editor’s Note: did you know there is a special Kurt column on Wednesdays? A third per week! Sign up here to become a Townhall VIP member to get it.

With Democrat dreams of a soft coup now a heap of smoldering wreckage, and no need to play Mr. Nice Guy to please prissy softcons on Capitol Hill, President Trump is finally free to channel his inner Michael Corleone. It’s about time to re-christen Don Jr., and use that opportunity to take out the heads of the five families. 


Trump already tossed mealy-mouthed ambassador Gordon Sondland out on his Nadler. Then military Twitter started buzzing with delight – well, not Blue Falcon Twitter but the one with vets who aren’t half-stepping weasels – at the news of That’s Lieutenant Colonel to You Bratwurst and his brother Other That’s Lieutenant Colonel to You Bratwurst being marched out of the West Wing with their all stuff, probably mostly Doritos and Mounds bars, in bankers’ boxes. About time – these doofuses may fool the establishment civilians but not the vets. We all served with their likes, and the fact these guys get celebrated by our feckless elite is not unrelated to the fact that our military has not decisively won a war in 30 years.

This long overdue purge needs to be just the beginning.

For three years the Democrats and the Fredocons have tried everything to keep Donald Trump from fully exercising the powers of the office the American people elected him to. Things other presidents do as a matter of course – like demand the investigation of massive corruption involving stripper-impregnating crack afficionados – is suddenly an impeachable crime against the Constitution. As a practical matter, flushing these floaters during the endless fake investigations would have been a political problem, but the never-ending story has finally ended, with Trump standing atop a pile of his enemies’ skulls. He now needs to make that pile grow higher by adding the figurative severed noggins of the treacherous quislings still lurking within his administration.


Get firing.

This includes names you have heard, like Christopher Wray, the hapless FBI head who thinks the best way to address the FISA crimes is to vector in some deep state cleaners to whitewash the mess. He has no interest in reforming that ruined organization. So, can him and get someone Barr recommends who will put cops in charge instead of political paper-pushers.

Then there are some other less-familiar, but higher-level types. Presumptively fire every ambassador who worked for Obama, keeping only those who proved they do not suck. The same with U.S. Attorneys, and their key assistants. And start relieving some generals and admirals who are not with the program – start with the ones at West Point and Annapolis who decided to investigate our young warriors over the circle game instead of telling the liberal blue check whiners to go pound sand.

But mostly it is names you have never heard, anonymous moles burrowed into the bureaucracy doing damage to patriotic conservative initiatives in their passive aggressive way (Jim Geraghty wrote a hilarious book on this called The Weed Agency).

Clean house. Ruthlessly. And if you can’t find them because of our archaic civil service laws, well, Nome needs bureaucrats too.

No president would tolerate treachery, and now Trump is free to punish it too.


Oh, and there is another power of the presidency Trump should exercise – pardons. What has happened to people like LTG Mike Flynn, Roger Stone, and others is a shameful embarrassment. They must be pardoned, now, to demonstrate that we will not tolerate a dual track justice system where the elite’s pals get a pass but those aligned with the dissenters get framed. Pardon them all, and commute Manafort’s sentence to time served.

Now, the spineless likes of Snitt Romney will object, since the practice of proactive manhood in defeating enemies rather than groveling before them shames these invertebrates. Maybe we should put it in terms that posturing prance can understand by invoking his prior career as a consultant sending American jobs overseas to line his and his Bain buddies’ bank accounts: “We’re not firing you. We’re mindfully practicing impactful policies to realize the full potential of our diverse team of forward-looking thought leaders.” Or, shorter: “Pack your Schiff and get the hell out.”

Speaking of the Senator for The Great State of Wherever He Thought He Could Get Elected (R?-?), who is just probably noticing that after a week his usefulness has passed and no one is calling from CNNMSNBC anymore, he needs to be dealt with. This idea of a recall is not a thing – Utah is stuck with their over-coiffed mistake and his kids Tagg, Torrp, Fipp, Sneep, Spume, and Nurvis, for another four years and so are we. But Romney needs some discipline, and not the kinky kind he enjoys by being publicly humiliated by the likes of Candy Crowley on-stage before the American people. Romney needs to be out of the club – he’s already been warned not to pack for CPAC – and denied the gravitas he so desires. He’s no respected elder stateman. He’s a punchline in a Pulp Fiction gimp joke.


And John Tessio Bolton needs to be frozen out too, but please – don’t blame his moustache for the sins of the guy who owns the lip it lives on. The moustache is still loyal.

The time to act is now. Impeachment turned out to be a Swalwellian toot and it’s done. The election is a long way off, and the lapdog media is unlikely to stir people up with fake outrage over these necessary and proper actions since people are too busy getting rich and not having their kids killed in stupid new wars.

Time to settle all family business.

Speaking of classics like The Godfather, and of modesty, why not check out my latest thriller that combines action and liberal abuse, Collapse.   America is split in two countries, red and blue, and let’s just say the blue part is like one big Scat Francisco sidewalk! Read it out along with the other entries in the best-selling series, People's Republic, Indian Country, and Wildfire. And look for cameos with the likes of Alyssa “Hollywood’s Dr. Hawking” Milano, Eric “Who Dealt It?” Swalwell, and Cap’n Bill “Ahoy” Kristol, who called my awesome novels “appalling!”

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