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What If They Gave an Impeachment and Nobody Came?

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

So, while that human troll doll of an ambassador was back east dancing for Adam Schiff’s pleasure and I was out in a glitzy blue Los Angeles-area city at a nice restaurant to score some munchables and people were talking and chatting and interacting and how many were talking about impeachment?


Here’s a hint: It’s the same number as the average dates per decade for a Weekly Standard writer.

Just kidding – there is no such thing as a writer for the Weekly Standard because it destroyed itself by sucking.

The number is “Zero.”



Even less than the amount of Indian in Chef Sitting Bolshevik’s DNA.

No one cares.

Well, not no one. People in Washington care. After all, Donald Trump’s real crime is not deferring to the same D.C. geniuses who were so relentlessly awful that they caused us to elect Donald Trump in the first place. The meme is going around that “I hired Donald Trump to fire people like you,” and boy – is it ever on point. That the president – yeah, he’s our president and he’s going to keep being our president for five more long years – refuses to submit to the bureaucrats of the ruling caste on foreign policy is not a bug. It’s a feature – the feature that closed the sale. 

See, our ruling class is utter garbage, as the televised circus on the Potomac proved. But no one goes to circuses anymore. 

What is the name of the person who watched Adam Schiff’s festival of political onanism and said, “Why yes, these startling revelations that a bunch of over-credentialed glorified DMV clerks heard from their pal who heard from another pal who heard from his manicurist that Donald Trump wanted to investigate Hoover Biden, the Tony Montana of cheesy nepo-graft, over his $50K+ a month bribe, has made me want to undo the election.”


Nobody, by which I mean a few Never Trumpers – they put the “no body” in “nobody” – who used this ridiculous farce to creep out of their sheds and say what they always wanted to say: “Throw him out of office!” What they also say, in a whisper, is, “So that things can go back to normal and I can go on grifting the rubes as a domesticated enabler of the elite cosplaying conservatism without accountability for never actually conserving anything but my own middling status in the swamp.” 

Normal people don’t care. 

Not even a little. 

Sometimes clichés are clichés because they are true, like the boy who cried wolf, or the Daily Beast scribbler who cried “Emoluments!”

For three plus years, everything has been the worst thing.

It’s Mueller Time! Well, that turned out to be almost as disappointing as a Never Trump wedding night.

Stormy Daniels! Yeah, Trump’s ability to score with formerly attractive women is going to do him in!

Michael Cohen! Sheesh. These goofs can’t even break attorney-client privilege and frame the guy.

Logan Act!


Campaign finance violations!


He refused to go to war with Turkey over a border dispute with the Kurds, some of whom were communist terrorists!

And America shrugs. We’re too busy working, too focused on our 401(k)s going through the roof and on him flipping circuit courts like a boss, to care about the latest outrage to end all outrages.


Trump tweeted a mean tweet that scared the diplo-hackette who a few minutes before had compared herself to the Benghazi studs that her heroine Stumbles McMyturn left to die. 


Oh, shut up.

Here’s the deal about impeachment. All this three-ring clown show stuff, all these poll-tested narratives (“Remember, our focus group in Duluth says ‘quid pro quo’ is 7.632 percent less evocative than ‘bribery’! Everyone go with ‘bribery’ from now on!”), all these endless, rehearsed resumé dumps they call their opening statements, mean nothing. It’s a joke. This is not a fact-finding inquiry. This is kabuki theater for dumb people, trying to swing them around to embracing the fait accompli that is impeachment.

But no one is listening. No minds are changing, except for people getting sick of an elite that considers the fact that it no longer holds unchallenged power to be America’s biggest problem. But we, the people, know there are real problems out there…and we know that the useless, garbage elite’s greed and incompetence created and/or aggravated most of them.

So, to get rid of Trump and stop him from his unholy destruction of norms and rules, our elite has abandoned…

The concept of free speech…

The notion of objective reporting…

The idea of due process…

The principle that the people rule, not government flunkies.


They somehow think that this all gets forgotten after the inevitable humiliation of the Democrat coupsters in the Senate. They would scour the Earth of freedoms and rights and call the resulting wasteland “Democracy.”

But they will fail.

How do I know?

Because nobody cares.

It’s so close to being available…so close, but yet so far. Collapse, the astonishing sequel to People's Republic, Indian Country and/or Wildfire, is almost here. It’s worth the wait. Yeah, I know it’s frustrating, but nowhere near as frustrating as being a Never Trump sissy, so you got that going for you!

***One last thing.  On Wednesdays, there's BONUS KURT if you're a Townhall VIP member.  Sign up today.  Three Kurts is better than two.

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