Opinion

Liberals Are Super Sad About the Supreme Court. Good.

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Posted: Jul 12, 2018 12:01 AM
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Liberals Are Super Sad About the Supreme Court. Good.

A lot of people who have never been in a fistfight will tell you that you shouldn’t kick a man when he’s down. Baloney. That’s the best time to kick a man – before he can get up again and maybe put you on the ground – or in it.

If it’s worth fighting, it’s worth winning – decisively. And that’s what we need to do about the Supreme Court and everything else in our battle with progressive tyranny. We’re in a mortal struggle against the left – if you doubt it, just get on social media and they’ll tell you it’s a mortal struggle. They will also tell you that it’s open season on you if you dare resist. So, it behooves us to win, and there’s no reason we can’t immensely enjoy it while we do.

Their pain is our joy – and it makes them crazy and therefore ineffective.

Donald Trump couldn’t have made a bad SCOTUS pick because, no matter who he picked, Felonia von Pantsuit wasn’t doing the picking. And whoever he picked was destined to be THE WORST PERSON EVER AND LITERALLY HITLER!

Brett Kavanaugh, according to the fill-in-the-blank signs distributed to the otherwise unemployable weirdos, losers, and mutations that make up the lefty perma-protester class, is at least two of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, and maybe three. Why? Because he is likely to be the final brick in the wall sealing progressives off from formal power. Not satisfied with running the media, Hollywood, academia, and other cultural icons like the soon-to-go-bankrupt, hotness-free Miss America pageant, the left yearns to retake governmental power. They want to do more than to simply wag their collective finger at us and tell us we’re deplorable.

They want to mess with us using the power of the law.

That’s their goal, and that’s 180 degrees from the goal when the militant Normals who I describe in detail in my new, upcoming book took back power by electing Donald Trump and a GOP Congress. Our goal was to stop liberals from messing with us. And that’s our goal with retaking and remaking the Supreme Court from a progressive Politburo into a bastion of liberty. The left wants to silence us using speech codes on campus and by banning “hate speech” that always seems to correspond exactly to political speech liberals disapprove of. They want to harass us regarding our religion by insisting we bake the cake, which really means insisting that we bend the knee to the false idol of liberal dogma. And guns – yeah, they want to take our guns, because disarming us has the practical benefit of making us defenseless against their quest to make us into Cuba: The Sequel, plus it would rub our faces in our powerlessness, which they would enjoy immensely. Everything they want a Supreme Court to do is entirely devoted to showing us who’s boss, but everything we want the Court to do is entirely devoted to making them leave us alone.

Now, they don’t all see it that way, but in the liberals’ defense, a lot of them are really, really dumb. They fantasize about Mike Pence setting up gay camps out in Wyoming because why wouldn’t he? Heck, the Democrats did it for Japanese-Americans. Oh. Awkward.

Those darn Republicans are always threatening to rain fascism down on America, yet the precedents for these pending outrages – from internment to Jim Crow to a civil war – are always things Democrats have already done. Again, awkward.

And then there is the liberals’ bizarre fixation on The Handmaid’s Tale and its stupid imagery that entrances the friendless gender studies majors you never invited to your campus parties and the bitter, single cat ladies they will inevitably become. If you thought the nimrods offering up Harry Potter analogies for #TheResistance were tiresome, wait until you get a load of the withered feminists and their gooey male allies who think us cons yearn to drape women in red tents because of Jesus or something. Have these people ever met conservatives? Unlike these barren coastal crones, we’re the ones doing America’s breeding, and if you think conservatives are repressed I suggest you cruise through the lobby at CPAC on Friday night at about 11 p.m. Dress women in robes? If conservatives were doing the handmaid thing, they’d go with naughty nurse outfits and cheerleader uniforms.

Regardless, our liberal opponents are inconsolable, so let’s not bother consoling them. Instead, let’s provoke and annoy them. No, not merely because it’s fun to do and because they deserve ridicule, though it is and they sure do. It’s because we want them in a frenzy of foam-sputtering insanity.

November is coming, and the more they run about shrieking that the sky is falling, the harder they will fall at election time when the sky doesn’t. Normals tend not to vote for crazy. Now, people like us – people who read political writings like this and get on Twitter and endlessly re-watch compilation videos of Democrats sobbing after Stumbles McMyTurn got crushed on 11/8/16 – are used to the other side being nuts. It’s par for the course, ho hum, business as usual. But to regular people who have better things to do than follow politics obsessively, these wackos are positively scary.

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Jeff Crouere

The nomination of Judge Brett Kavanaugh will threaten the lives of millions of Americans for decades to come and will morph our Supreme Court into a political arm of the right-wing Republican Party!” Except, wasn’t everyone already dead from net neutrality and global warming and tax cuts and because Mitt Romney drove around with a dog on his roof? And as for morphing the Supreme Court into a political arm of the right-wing Republican Party, sounds good to me, though there’s a huge chance that the GOP would screw it up.

So, let’s help the Democrats get their message out. Let’s help them spread it far and wide, especially in the red states where 10 Democratic senators are up for reelection. Let’s help them sound the alarm about how Justice Kavanaugh may make it harder to disarm normal Americans and to hassle them about their religion. Let’s let them shriek that J-to-the-K might make it so some states can increase their restrictions against killing babies while others, like my own state of California, will probably make abortion mandatory.

The Democrats are lying on the ground, howling like banshees and wriggling around on their backs like cockroaches. But, despite their best efforts, they still have the potential of getting back on their feet again. Let’s not let that happen. Let’s kick them (figuratively) while they are down, win it all in November and in 2020, and not be satisfied until the Supreme Court is 9-0 for liberty.