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Just Go Away Jeb, Preferably Mad

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It’s not enough that Jeb Bush be allowed to bow out of the race and retire with dignity to spend the rest of his life not being president. No, Jeb made a choice to be the guy who, with joy in his heart, was going to put us clods, nuts, and losers in our place, which is at the feet of the likes of Jeb and the guys who write him checks. So Jeb’s departure must be a public, painful lesson in utter humiliation.

Us losers who you looked down on, Jeb? Hey, we broke you. You lost to us. To us unworthy, unwashed, un-edumakated members of the GOP grassroots whose uppity collective tails you were going to kick. Next time you sit down, in your limo or in a seat on your jet, you just think of who kicked best.

Remember how you were going to win the general election by losing the primary? Well, you were half right. You were going to use the mountains of your rich buddies’ cash to crush us know nothings and force your squishy self down our throats. Immigration? If we normals complained about the consequences of illegal aliens then we were just racist. Common core? When we were concerned about the nonsense our kids were learning at school, well, we needed to listen to experts like you. Your strategy was to beat Hillary by out-Hillarying her.

Some of us put money down on how long it would take for you to decide that we needed our right to keep and bear arms infringed. And then you went on Colbert and damned if you don’t accept the premises of Hillary’s “common sense” gun control agenda. I won $20 – no one ever lost money betting that a RINO would shoot conservatives in the back.

So Jeb, it’s not enough that you just go away. And you will go away. The GOP has become the Delta House and you’re Greg Marmalard. That makes us conservatives Bluto. Guess who is hooking up with Mandy Pepperidge?

And your campaign has been a tragic kiln explosion. I made kind of a game of it, trying to find one single conservative who would said, “Yeah, my candidate is Jeb Bush. Jeb forever!” I would have had an easier time finding a hot liberal feminist or a Democrat with a job.

I actually found one person on Twitter who tweeted something to the effect of, “I guess I’m for Jeb. Meh.” And I recently saw a twenty-something dude in a Fox studio audience who was all in for The Lesser Bush. He looked like he had been the vice-president of the competitive acapella team back at Andover.

That’s it. That’s pretty much Jeb’s support on this side of the velvet rope.

And even that meager support is dissipating in the wake of the brutal humiliation delivered by Marco Rubio during the CNBC debate. The crowd had whooped and hollered for Marco as he deftly eviscerated the liberal moderators and their hacky “You missed votes” meme. Yet tone deaf Jeb utterly misread the crowd and joined in on the side of the mainstream media. You can almost see Jeb in a general election debate saying, “Well, Mrs. Clinton makes some good points about how conservatives hate women.”

And Jeb, spare America the sight of a rich guy’s son – who has literally zero accomplishments not directly linked to being a rich guy’s son – lecturing an immigrant’s kid who toiled his way into the Senate about the need to work harder.

Jeb’s total failure is a teachable moment. It should teach future GOP candidates that Republicans should actually support the things Republicans support, and not share Hillary Clinton’s view that fellow Republicans are the real enemy.

We conservatives are sick of being disregarded, disrespected, and betrayed. If you are appalled, alarmed and/or ashamed by conservatism and conservatives, maybe the GOP nomination just isn’t for you. We were told the smart play was John McCain. We were told the smart play was Mitt Romney. We were told the smart play was Jeb Bush, and what we told the Establishment can’t be repeated on this family website.

Yes, Jeb must go away, and he must go away mad. He must be made an example of in order to spare the party the burden of dealing with future out-of-step, sanctimonious, unconservative, undistinguished, lazy, and entitled losers who want to be president because it’s their turn.

Well Jeb, it’s not your turn, and it never will be.

Sure, you still have a ton of money and a bunch of advisors who still see you as a gravy train. They’ll be telling you that you have the cash to hold on, to be the last Republican standing. They are lying. They will win the primary season even though you will never be nominated. They figure the damage your ad campaigns cause better candidates going into the general is a small price to pay for their healthy slice of the ad placement bucks.

Your continued candidacy hurts the GOP and makes “President Clinton II: The Enshrewening” more likely. If your campaign is about more than you and your ego and your sense of entitlement, drop out and go away.

But regardless, you are going away anyway, and you will go away mad, and good riddance.

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