The GOP Establishment’s Amnesty Suicide Pact

Posted: Feb 03, 2014 12:01 AM
The GOP Establishment’s Amnesty Suicide Pact

The GOP Establishment seems confused about where we conservatives – you know, the majority of the party – stand on immigration reform. Maybe I can help it out.

No amnesty.

No bogus pseudo-legal status that is effectively amnesty.

No “enforcement first” plan that ends up with no enforcement and plenty of amnesty.

N-o A-m-n-e-s-t-y.

What part of that is in any way unclear? Apparently, the part about no amnesty.

In what universe is it a good idea to push for amnesty and increased immigration by zillions of people who will never, ever, ever vote Republican? The House GOP must have just held its retreat in Colorado because the only explanation for their thinking that selling out the base is a solid strategy is that they’ve been puffing on some killer weed.

Sure, this is all a great idea for the puppet masters of the Republican Establishment in Congress. Those squishy sellouts are thinking less about conservatism than about the day that they can ditch Capitol Hill and take the reins as executive director of the American Undergarment Trade Association for a cool $900K a year as payback for a couple of decades of carrying water for Big Undie.

After all, what giant corporatist conglomerate wouldn’t want a steady flow of desperate new workers to do their menial labor at low, low wages without making all those outrageous demands that actual Americans make? Capitalism is great, but these corporate cronies are as much about the free market as Justin Bieber is about sobriety and good music.

Hell, the existence of Canadian refugee Justin Bieber should end the entire immigration debate before it even starts. Step one in any reform plan should be shipping him and his posse back to Winnipeg.

While walling off the Great White North might be a bit extreme – might be – putting up a real fence on the border with Mexico makes a lot of sense. Of course, it only makes sense if you actually want to stop illegal immigration. The Establishment clearly doesn’t, and you can tell that it doesn’t by its steadfast refusal to take any action consistent with actually stopping illegal immigration.

Let me spell out where conservatives stand on border security.

No “virtual fences.”

No focus on “enhanced interior enforcement” or “improved visa controls.”

No more promises, dodges or misdirections.

Build a freaking fence, don’t just promise to build one like last time.

A fence. Build it now.

I hope that was clear, but I fear the GOP Establishment still won’t get the message. Isolated from the people who actually elected its members and surrounded by K Street creeps who hand them bundles of cash, Team RINO has lately demonstrated an amazing ability to talk itself into the most mind-bogglingly stupid positions imaginable.

After all, these are the shrewd, savvy pros who decided that the one group in all of America that deserved to have its cash curtailed was Republican-leaning veterans. How could Republicans even consider doing that? Did they convene a council of renowned idiots and challenge them to come up with the single most offensive conceivable combination of political idiocy and glaring immorality?

It’s actually quite remarkable. It’s like a quantum physics singularity of stupid.

And now they’ve decided that this is the perfect time to resurrect the push for amnesty, the one strategic choice that will both utterly alienate a motivated GOP base that is (was) about to retake the Senate in 2014 while simultaneously ensuring that the GOP will be destroyed in the decades to come. Obama’s administration is drowning in the sea of failure that is Obamacare and the members of the GOP Genius Caucus have decided that the smart play is to throw it their own life preserver.

Oh, and then the Establishment losers add insult to injustice by starting up with the smarmy, self-righteous clichés about how they are far, far too caring to want to limit access to our country to those we give permission to visit. They are so much more enlightened than those knuckle draggers who elected them. But if their crony masters told them to do a 180 on amnesty they’d be laying the bricks for a wall themselves.

Their cynical posturing as friends of the world’s huddled masses yearning to be free is nonsense – they’re advocates for huddled masses punching clocks at minimum wage in the service of their corporatist paymasters.

Let me be clear, GOP Thinkers, because your parasitical campaign consultants, your failure-prone pollsters and your crony capitalist contributors are deluding you. Since these are the only people you talk to, you aren’t seeing your real problem. We are your real problem. We are your base. We do the phone banking and the precinct walking and, most of all, the actual voting. You can be sitting on a mountain of cash, but it means nothing if you stab us in the back and next November we decide to stay home.

And we will. Believe it. Do not test us.

GOP Establishment, if you do this, it’s done. It’s over. We don’t like you and we don’t trust you, yet we’re still willing to work with you and to make those calls and knock on those doors and to vote for the guy with the (R) after his name because the left is so much worse. But if you join the left in shafting us, we’re gone. We’re out of here. Finished.

Sure, we dislike progressivism. But we hate betrayal more. Don’t tear the GOP to shreds, because that’s how this game ends. You’ve been warned.