Time to Play: "Hey Quick! What's More Pathetic?"

TBrennan55 wrote: There is a lot that needs to be ironed out to deal with the glitches that seem to pervade the Affordable Care Act. I thought that it was modeled after Romney Care which seems to be working better than other health care plans around the world. Since every Democracy on earth seems to have a national health care plan, why not us? Rather than bitching why not bring up ideas on how to improve what is coming out? The constant bitching just seems like inane drivel coming from the right wing lunatics that pervade the GOP who simply hate the president. Time for some logic and common sense to start being used to modify the ACA. It’s Stupid, Obamacare

Dear Comrade 55,

You’re just jealous because when they raised the speed limit you went from having the fastest number, to now beeeeing reeeeally slooooow. We curse at you from both the right and the left lanes, of course.

I got news for you, however: You were always slow. We’ve been cursing at you from both lanes for years.

RomneyCare by the way WORKS, if it does at all, because it shifts some of the burden of healthcare costs from the people of Massachusetts-- you know, the beneficiaries who use the system—to the rest of the taxpayers of the United States, who do not use the system.

“Under RomneyCare, the state shifted half the costs to the federal government and most of the other half to individual families and policy holders,” said David Tuerck, Executive Director of the Beacon Hill Institute, a conservative think tank that studied the issue. Tuerck is also the chair of the economics department at Suffolk University. “We can’t do that with ObamaCare. There’s no place for the costs to go.”

Oh, but you’re wrong Mr. Tuerck.

I could put together a healthcare system that would be solvent—and make a handsome profit-- if you allowed me to tax the people of France, Germany, and small portions of what used to be known as the Austro-Hungarian Empire to pay for benefits that cover people only in the United States.

Why those countries?

Why not? This is the same logic that liberals use for every program: Make someone else pays for what we can not afford.

Morally, there is no difference between asking people in France, Germany or any other country to pay for benefits that cover people here than there is asking one generation of Americans to pay a disproportionate share of healthcare, retirement or other costs to cover the ones that use the system today.

And to your other point: There are conservative alternatives to Obamacare, RomneyCare and other socialized, government-controlled healthcare systems.

Here’s a really easy one: Restore the economic relationship between the doctor and the patient. Let patients negotiate directly with providers of healthcare for fees.

Liberals would likely say that poor people aren’t smart enough to do that—Ok; they wouldn’t say it out loud, but that’s what they mean. They mean that when they charge the “greedy” banker with not telling the guy who lied about his income on his mortgage application that lying might mean he can’t afford the house he’s buying.

When this play was originally completed it was so long, and so wide, and so deep (in places), and so comprehensive, that it would have taken two weeks to play it. And I thought this was a good feature. I supposed we could have a sign on the curtain, "To be continued," and it would be all right; but the manager said no, that wouldn't do; to play two weeks was sure to get us into trouble with the Government; because the Constitution of the United States says you shan't inflict cruel and unusual punishments. So he set to work to cut it down, and cart the refuse to the paper mill. Now, that was a good thing; I never saw a play improve as this one did. The more he cut out of it the better it got, right along. He cut out, and cut out, and cut out, and I do believe this would be one of the best plays in the world to-day if his strength had held out and he could have gone on and cut out the rest of it.

D G wrote: John Ransom. You are the one who disrespectfully coined the word " McClique ". It is one thing to disagree with people, but it is poor judgment to resort to disrespectful name calling. That is the shameful stuff that will allow Democrats to regain control of the House in 2014. John, I respectfully ask you change your tune. Instead, please try to unite the GOP in order to defeat the Democrats.Democrats Get European Results On European Policies

Dear DG,

You’re right. The term “McClique” was over the top and disrespectful to both Senators John McCain and Mitch McConnell.

Although what two SENATORS have to do with the election for the HOUSE, is more than I can imagine.

Anyway: Thanks for the tip, stupid.

I’ll try to get better. Really. I mean that. Really, Really.

Gayle90 wrote: Not one of your better articles John. You got the punchline, but skipped the buildup. How exactly does this relate to European history, and from which time period? Are we talking post world war two, or post war of the roses? Democrats Get European Results On European Policies

Dear Gayle,

(Sigh). I don’t mind people pointing out when I’ve been unclear.

But man, it really makes me hot when I have to go back and re-read what I’ve written. Thanks a lot. You’ve ruined a perfectly good Saturday for me. But then I remember that some of you have to read me everyday. I have nothing but pity for you, poor, sad, misguided people.

“In psychoanalysis,” Steve Martin once explained about his works, “you try to retain a discovery. In art, once the thing is made, you let it go.”

I let it go, Gayle. It’s a column more or less.

I was speaking about the Democrats’ obsession with building the European social state here in the U.S. at a time the European social state is crumbling.

I hope your day gets better.

Zenarts wrote: The Intolerable Acts: John Ransom must have been under a rock the last few years. He fails to see the similarity in European economic policies and Tea Party ‘reforms’ of the status quo. The political agenda of the European financial elites, to include the European Central Bank (ECB), European Commission, and the IMF, is to force political changes whose longer-term goal is to dismantle the European welfare state. Like their American Right-Wing brethrens, they want labor law changes to bust the power of unions, cuts in health care spending, cuts to education, deficit reductions that will put even more people out of work, and balanced budgets. Democrats Get European Results On European Policies

Dear Comrade Zenarse,

Status quo and Tea Party are oxymoron. I suspect that what you mean is this: “Tea Party bad. Bad status quo. Tea Party, status quo same.”

There is so much to debunk about what you have written, that it bears saying that none of what you have said was ever bunked to begin with.

I know no one of sound mind who thinks the IMF, the European Central Bank or the European Commission is out to dismantle the welfare state.

I should know too: I attend all Illuminati meetings when they are held in my district. We meet in a private room at Applebees, with Ricky Bobby, Oliver Stone and occasionally the disembodied voice of JFK chairing the event.

You have not lived until you hear JFK do Elvis!

And yes: I’m speaking to you in the soothing tones one typically reserves for hurt wild animals and the dangerously insane.

Drayburn wrote: Yes I agree North American history says it all, every recovery we have had from times like this was too go to war which Republicans love there wars, cut down on population opens the building of the war government contracts, for weapons est., So this government went a different way a little slower come back but once we get rid of the rest of your under the table wheelers and dealers up there, I believe the United States will make a (BIG)come back all around the world. Whether you like it or not were still one of the youngest countries in the world and still have a lot to learn on how to play well with others. Can't always be the bully, on the block. Democrats Get European Results On European Policies

Dear Comrade Bray,

Can’t always use commas, correctly, either.

I saw a t-shirt the other day that was a riff on an old-time English grammar lesson in Ms. Nesbitt’s class. In those days in Catholic school, every teacher—they were all female, except the obligatory male gym teacher—was called Ms. Regardless of married status.

Anywho, to the t-shirt:

Let’s eat Grandma

Let’s eat, Grandma

Commas Save Lives

So the next time you throw commas around willy-nilly Comrade Bray, just understand that you are messing with forces you couldn’t possibly understand, like grammar for instance.

Are you and Arse in the same wing at the hospital by the way?

RestoreLiberty wrote: Every time you demand that government should rule and legislate based on your religion you open the door for them to use other religions for the same purpose. You want government in your marriage to protect the family then you invite government to define marriage. You invite government into your belief system to legislate abortion restrictions then you also invite government to legislate based on the beliefs of others who want death at any and all stages of pregnancy and now even after birth.

The Great Default Already Happened

Dear Restore,

Yes. It’s as I tell my liberal friends: If you want money out politics than get the politics out of money. The rest will follow of natural course.

I think the government should get out of the business of marriage entirely, but then if it did, it would lose it’s place as the liberal church.

Waynesteapartyworld wrote: et tu Mr.Ransom? You're a smart finance guy JR, but I bet you s*cked at sports (re your cartoon about the defund strategy). If you were in the Peloponnese in about 490,B.C., I suspect that you would have been expounding about the "poorly thought out strategy" at Thermopylae, and advising the Greeks to ponder and plan and ponder and plan some more, before making a rash decision to actually do something. Bada-Bing! Uncle Barry’s Billion Dollar Extortion Scheme ObamaTerror Is Coming To You Too

Dear Comrade Wayne,

I was a good sports writer, although a bit unusual. I think I remember paying dues to the Football Writers Association this year. At end, I’ll put up one of my sports columns.

If I were at Thermopylae: 1) I would be very old; 2) What you are writing would be “greek” to me.

Your thoughts are disconnected. You write to me to say that I’m smart in finance, but I might have “sucked” at sports writing. And to illustrate it, you speculate what I might have strategized at a battle that happened 2,500 years ago.

You might want to take this test and then consult a priest.

You either need psychotherapy or confession.

Ericynot1 wrote: Before anyone sheds too many tears for JP Morgan, I suggest googling "jp morgan criminal enterprise" and reading a couple of articles. Bada-Bing! Uncle Barry’s Billion Dollar Extortion Scheme ObamaTerror Is Coming To You Too

Dear Comrade Y,

Also Google: “Big Foot is Alive,” “Alien Satan Race to Conquer US,” and “Dude Named Eric Says More Stuff Without Any Real Point or Substance To It Because He’s A Liberal Who Won’t Even Admit It, Because That’s The Worst Kind Of Liberal.”

If that link doesn’t work, you can just watch this.

Peter06 wrote: This is one of Ransom's more amusing columns. I do not remember seeing any references to the problems of coal pollution or climate change, however. Perhaps this column was written in the 1950's?

Kick That Donkey Expand Jobs Footprint With Coal

Dear Comrade OhSix,

Perhaps your comments were written in the 1990s?

That’s it for this week,

V/r,

Hey, quick, what’s more pathetic?

By Bam Ransom, Published by The Sports Network

Major league baseball has gotten underway.

The NFL draft is close enough to feel.

The NBA soon starts its second season.

A foot of snow is falling in Denver.

That must mean it’s time to play Hey, quick, what’s more pathetic?

In the tradition of family game shows like, “Quien es muy macho?” and “Hmm, is that ear wax?” Hey, quick, what’s more pathetic? combines feats of memory and bad judgment, fortified by Czech malt beverages, into the most irrelevant game show gracing the pages of this publication.

So without further ado, let’s get to the first round.

(To make this column more pleasing to your neighbors, please read your answers out loud, in a very high pitched voice.)

Hey, quick, what’s more pathetic?

Jay Cutler grinding on internet columnist Julia Allison at a club in Chicago, OR… Denver Broncos fans showing up in internet chat rooms to point to his flirting as PROOF that Cutler sucks?