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'Che Guevara Was a Sweet Husband and Daddy' (According to Britain’s The Guardian)

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

“I’m the eldest of Che’s four children with my mother. Papi was known around the world as the Argentine revolutionary, a guerrilla leader and major figure of the Cuban revolution, but we were just a normal family. I never felt special as his daughter. Where I did feel special was as the child of a couple who loved each other dearly.” (Aleida Guevara in The Guardian.)

Awww….You can almost hear Hollywood sniffling en masse.  

Can you imagine a “respectable” newspaper giving Heinrich Himmler’s daughter a platform to sniffle over her darling papa’s domestic habits? Well, despite the half century of pinko hogwash, the only actual success in Che Guevara’s miserable life came as mass-executioner of the unarmed and helpless, much like Himmler’s. 

And by the way, The Guardian would not have a difficult time finding Cuban women who lack sons and fathers because of Che Guevara. To wit:

A Spanish priest named Javier Arzuaga had the misfortune to preside over the Havana parish that included the city’s La Cabana Fortress which Che converted into Cuba’s firing-squad and torture-central in January 1959.

During his painful rounds father Arzuaga was shocked to find a 16 year old boy named Ariel Lima among the condemned “war-criminals” crammed into the dungeons and torture chambers. The priest described the boy as totally dazed with his teeth constantly chattering and probably mentally-handicapped.

Astoundingly, father Arzuaga managed to get an audience with executioner-in-chief Che Guevara where he pleaded the boy’s case. “Quickly I realized my pleas were pointless, “recalls the priest. “The harder I pleaded for his compassion, the wider and crueler became Che Guevara’s famous sneer.”

“OK, fine. We’ll take it up tonight at the Tribunal of Appeals,” Che finally said while continuing to sneer at the distraught priest.

But what Che did at the “appeals hearing,” (that was attended by little Ariel’s single mother) was confirm the death sentence and schedule the firing squad murder for that very night. 

As they left the ‘hearing,” “Che was walking with his usual entourage when he noticed me,” recalls father Arzuaga. “He sneered again and waved hello. Suddenly I saw Ariel’s hysterical mother run in front of Che and throw herself on the ground.”

“Woman,” Guevara laughed at her. “Go see that guy,” and Che turned and pointed at me,” writes father Arzuaga. Padre Javier is a professional at consoling people,” Che chuckled. “Then he looked over at me laughing. “She’s all yours, padre.”

“I walked over and helped the devastated women who had fallen on the ground sobbing uncontrollably,” recalls the priest. “Put yourself in God’s hands, ‘Mam,” I prayed. “Try and rise above this tragedy. God will help you learn to live without your son.”

“That night (the mentally–handicapped) Ariel Lima was still in a totally dazed condition as they tied him to the execution stake,” wrote father Arzuaga, “totally unaware he was about to be murdered.”

“FUEGO!”  And the volley shattered Ariel’s little quivering body.

No doubt Che was watching and gloating from his window, as was his custom. Che's second-story office in La Cabana had a section of wall torn out so he could watch his darling firing-squads at work.

“My nostrils dilate while savoring the acrid odor of gunpowder and blood. Crazy with fury I will stain my rifle red while slaughtering any surrendered enemy that falls in my hands! We must keep our hatred alive and fan it to paroxysm!”

Alas, the “acrid odor of gunpowder and blood” rarely reached Che Guevara’s nostrils from actual combat. It always came from the close-range murder of bound, gagged or blindfolded men (and boys).

Rigoberto Hernandez was 17 when Che's soldiers dragged him from his cell in La Cabana, jerked his head back to gag him, and started dragging him to the stake. Little "Rigo" pleaded his innocence to the very bloody end. But his pleas were garbled and difficult to understand. His struggles while being gagged and bound to the stake were also awkward. The boy had been a janitor in a Havana high school and was mentally retarded. His single mother had pleaded his case with hysterical sobs. She had begged, beseeched and finally proven to his "prosecutors" that it was a case of mistaken identity. Her only son, a boy in such a condition, couldn't possibly have been "a CIA agent planting bombs."

"FUEGO!" and the firing squad volley shattered Rigo's little bent body as he moaned and struggled awkwardly against his bounds, blindfold and gag.

“Certainly we execute!” boasted Che Guevara to the UN General Assembly Dec. 1964.  “And we will continue executing as long as it is necessary!” Those executions (murders, actually; execution implies a judicial process) had reached about 16,000 by the time of Che Guevara’s boast, the equivalent, given the relative populations, of over half a million executions in the U.S. (This figure comes from The Black Book of Communism, by the way, written by French scholars and published in English by Harvard University Press, neither outfit exactly a bastion of “Crazy Embittered-Loud-Mouthed-Right-Wing-Cuban Exiles!”

Quite fittingly, Che’s bloodthirsty boast was made while addressing the hallowed halls of the United Nations on Dec. 9, 1964.

Perhaps Ambassador Nikki Haley can remind the UN General Assembly of the ovation they gave Che Guevara upon his boast that day? 

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