Nothing brings out the panic Democrat fundraising emails like a deadline. It doesn’t matter how far ahead of anyone actually voting a deadline is, each one is treated like it’s THE most important deadline they have ever faced, and if expectations aren’t met, it will be the end of their chances. It’s a ploy to separate stupid people from their money, and it must work because they keep doing it.
Democrat “leader” in the House Hakeem Jeffries (we all know Nancy Pelosi calls the shots and Hakeem is just a puppet) writes, “I know it’s late -- but I had to send just one more message before the end of the night. I just reviewed my final finance update of the month, and I’m sorry to report that House Democrats are still falling short of our most important fundraising deadline so far this year. Since you’re one of our best grassroots supporters in Oregon (I lied about my location and have never given them a penny, but I’m one of their “best”!), I just had to reach out one last time to see if you could chip in and help close the gap.”
They’re really screwed if, on the last day of the quarter, they’re reaching out to me in a tizzy. They continue, “let me be absolutely clear: We cannot afford to miss this goal. Last year, Republicans outraised and outspent us across the board -- and if we let them do it again, we could lose our shot to win back the House.”
Last year, Republicans barely won back the House.
More curiously, if you read enough of these things you begin to notice things, or at least should (Their donors don’t, so maybe they’re just too dumb to notice). Notice things like they never tell you how much money they’ve actually raised, or just how “short” of the goal they really are, or what their goal is, for that matter. It’s always so close they can taste it, and just need a few bucks from you to push them over the finish line. Always. That’s one hell of a coincidence.
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The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee had their own spin on stupid, this one using Barack Obama. “Please stop what you’re doing and read this,” their email on June 30th opens. “Barack Obama just spoke out and called on every single one of us to help House Democrats WIN this historic election. He knows Republicans have raised more than $25 MILLION to defeat us, and he knows it’s going to take all of us standing together to bring this win home. Generous Democrats are SO fired up by President Obama’s call to action, they agreed to MATCH every single gift until midnight to help Democrats close the fundraising gap and make Barack proud. We’re calling for 9,000 gifts before the match expires at midnight to help RECLAIM our Majority. Will you rush $3 to the DCCC to answer President Obama’s call?”
What was “Obama’s call”? The subject line was “Barack Obama just broke his silence,” which is odd considering the guy never shuts up. But the only thing in the entire email in quotation marks can be in the form of a picture of Obama's big-eared head with 4 words on it, “Let’s get to work!”
That’s it, that’s the entire quote or “silence-breaking” message from Obama.
From that, the email continues, “Top Democrats are SO fired up by Barack’s powerful call, they agreed to MATCH every donation until midnight to ensure Democrats can close the fundraising gap. That’s how important this is. If we can reach 9,000 gifts before the match expires, we could OUTRAISE House Republicans, hand them a MASSIVE loss in this election, and make President Obama proud by reclaiming our Majority. Will you step up? President Obama would not have spoken out if this wasn’t absolutely critical.”
Obama wouldn’t have said 4 words he’s said thousands of times were it not “absolutely critical”? If it were absolutely critical, it seems like Barry and Michelle could’ve cut a check from the hundreds of millions they’ve raked in after cashing in on his office. Weird how that never occurs to these people. Instead, they pretend there’s some mega-donor somewhere willing to break federal campaign finance laws on the maximum amount that can be donated by “triple matching” everyone else’s donations. Not very likely.
The sense of urgency at the “end of the quarter” is really funny to read, mostly because throughout the year Democrats create other random deadlines that are equally as meaningless. “The end of month deadline,” or the “end of week deadline,” or my personal favorite, the all-important “mid-week deadline.” We should find out how much these grifters managed to con out of suckers pretty soon, and in a testament to just how close we’re getting to a full-blown Idiocracy, expect that number to be big.
