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OPINION

You’ve Come A Long Way, (Trans)Baby!

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Armando Franca

(Note of personal privilege before today’s column: Remember Joe the Plumber? He’s a good friend of mine and he’s facing a tough time at the moment. What the liberal media and Democrat establishment couldn’t do to him, cancer is trying. It won’t destroy him either, but he’s in an uncomfortable position and taking serious chemo, which makes it hard for him to work. Please read this and consider helping, or at a minimum praying for him and his family. Thanks.)

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Remember those old ads for Virginia Slims cigarettes, the ones that showed everybody having a great time playing around on a beach or whatever (before the emphysema kicked in) with the slogan, “You’ve come a long way, baby”? Man, they made smoking look so cool, especially for chicks. And “chicks” is the key part of that, meaning women. There was a time when there wasn’t any discussion about what a woman was, everyone knew. We weren’t taught it in school, didn’t need diagrams, there was no need for a flier, let alone volumes of books to tell literally everyone on the planet what was what. Times have changed. Now, insofar as women go, men are really cleaning up at being them, and the people who needed Tommy John surgery from patting themselves on the backs so hard for years over supporting women are now installing urinals in the ladies’ room.

It couldn’t happen to a nicer group of people, honestly. Who doesn’t love a good progressive circular firing squad? It’s a nice change of pace for them, considering the last century had progressives using firing squads on people who disagreed with them in Russia, China, Germany, etc. 

Now, the left finds itself at war with itself over basic biology – some women, it turns out, didn’t appreciate fighting for equality with men only to start losing to them in everything from sports to literal “women of the year” contests. 

It has to be embarrassing. I’m 6’5” and if I lost a “6’5” person named Derek Hunter of the Year Award” contest to Peter Dinklage, I’d be pissed. He’s a great actor, but he’s not named Derek Hunter, nor is he anywhere close to 6’5”. However, through the magic of free will, there’s nothing stopping him from identifying as such. That’s fine, whatever. But progressive thought requires everyone else (meaning people who aren’t delusional) play along with what is obviously false so the person who is delusional (or simply an over-indulged spoiled brat) won’t feel badly about themselves. 

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Obey or the people refusing to comply will suffer the wrath of the woke mob.

That wrath involves everything from general harassment to complete cancellation. Most people can’t stand up to the leftist mob, so they simply comply. Actually, they just keep their thoughts to themselves, which is the ultimate goal for control by the left. Few people, exemplified by billionaire author J.K. Rowling, are able to withstand the full-blown assault of a horde of people with nothing better to do than try to bully people into submission over a delusion. If only they’d shower, then maybe they’d be able to kiss someone (prostitutes aside, obviously), leading them to better things to do that scream “transphobe” at the top of their lungs.

That is, of course, their main weapon – the suffix “phobe.” Along with “ist,” it is deployed with more regularity than an exhale by these people. There’s a problem, however. "Trans-phobic" is the wrong word. Phobia is a fear. I don't fear trans people, nor does anyone else. We’re just sick of listening to leftist whining about them. We’re sick of hearing how everyone has to walk on eggshells around them. We’re sick of Democrats insisting we have to play along with their delusions. 

I don’t wish ill on anyone ill, but if someone is so fragile that referring to them in conversations with others in a way that displeases their sensibilities (because that’s when you use the pronouns they tattoo on their vacant heads) would lead them over the edge, though. Something would have caused them to jump sooner or later (likely sooner), there was no pushing. Get a hold of yourself and get help, now. It’s really that simple.

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All the concern in the world for friends or family members with gender dysphoria (which is a real thing psychology admitted and treated until about 20 minutes ago) will never change biology, will never change reality. All the insistence in the world won’t turn an “innie” into an “outie,” it just won’t. And the sooner you come to terms with that the better off, and happier, you will be.

Instead, we have USA Today, the nation’s hotel doormat (honestly, has anyone ever read one anywhere else?), declaring a male legislator their “woman of the year” in Minnesota. Sorry, but the dude, who is 41 but looks 61, has pink hair and tattooed sentences all over his arms. Each of those things is a warning flare, yet 81 percent of the idiotic leftists in his district voted for someone you wouldn’t trust to water your plants if you went away for a week, let alone trust with your kids for 2 seconds. Democrats have lost their damn minds.

It’s actually worse than losing their minds, it’s to the point now where they claim the right to butcher the bodies of others, of kids.

Look, if an adult wants to mutilate themselves, I really don’t care. As long as they aren’t mentally lost (and I get many people think everyone is), I couldn’t care less what someone does to their body – they have to live with it. I also don’t care what they do with others, as long as they are of age and willing – they have to explain it to God, I don’t. But I’ll never understand the absolute bloodlust on the left to chemically castrate or surgically mutilated children. 

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Democrats are so evil in this pursuit that they created the concept of “gender affirming care,” because supporting performing a double mastectomy on young girls or making teenage boys into eunuchs aren’t bumper stickers their voters would put on their Priuses. At least not yet. 

You do, however, get the sense that some of them would. Like this member of the Nebraska State Senate. Meg Hunt (D), has an 11-year-old “trans'' kid (I don’t know from what to what, nor do I care) was so upset over the idea that body mutilation for the sake of progressive vanity and virtue signaling might have to wait until the kid is old enough to buy a pack of smokes, drive without a restricted license, get a tattoo, vote, open a bank account on their own, etc., that she vowed never to speak to another Republican again. That “threat” has to be like finding a giant diamond inside your humongous gold nugget for the GOP there, because the bill passed the Senate. (Seriously, watch this creep’s speech and tell me it didn’t push any Republican on the fence over the line.)

Now, thanks to Democrats, women are losing to men in sports, in business, in government, everywhere. Men are turning out to be better at being women than those born into are.

On the plus side for the ladies, since “trans women are women,” we can get rid of the wage gap pretty easily. No one can really say what a woman is anymore, and any man can be a woman, and gender is fluid, all we have to do is get Elon Musk to declare himself to be a woman every time the government goes to calculate it and it’s gone. Why the hell not? It’d be as real as any of the other things Democrats demand be celebrated. 

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Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!), host of a daily radio show, and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.

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