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The CNN Sex Party Comes To An End

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
Photo by Jason Mendez/Invision/AP, File

When you look at the people on CNN the absolute last thing to come to your mind is “sex.” Now that I’ve planted that thought in your head you’ve probably thrown up in your mouth a little bit, sorry about that. But while “CNN” and “sex” are the brushing your teeth and drinking orange juice of cable news, it turns out the network founded by Ted Turner was pretty much an unaccountable key party that appears to have come to an end.


For those who haven’t seen a movie featuring one, or didn’t live through the 1970s and attend one, a key party was a wife-swapping party where men would toss their keys into a fishbowl and the women would sleep with whoever’s keys she pulled out of the bowl. It’s wife-swapping by chance. CNN was pretty similar to that, with a dash of pedophilia and zero journalistic standards.

When the news came down that Jeff Zucker had stepped down as President of CNN amid a sex scandal, my first thought was shock – who would have sex with that? Turns out his long-time girlfriend was a top executive at the network. What his wife and her husband, now both exes, thought about the alleged years long affair on them both is not yet know, but it can’t be good. 

Personally, I couldn’t care less what consenting adults do, they have to explain themselves to God, I don’t. But the freak out among CNN personalities was something I found very interesting, and telling.

An all-staff meeting the day after Uncle Fester’s ouster left everyone in shock, or so they’ve said. It’s unclear you an “open secret” that has been happening for years snuck up on anyone. There aren’t many companies in the country, especially left-wing companies, that allow someone in power to date subordinates, let alone have affairs with them. So what were the CNN teleprompter readers upset about? New leadership.


Under Jeff Zucker, it was pretty clear the fraternization rules were viewed more as suggestions. Quite a few CNN employees sleeping together (see: Dana Bash and John King) or pleasuring themselves on video chats with no consequences (see, actually don’t see, Jeffery Toobin). With 2 former producers being linked to pedophilia and one current anchor being sued for allegedly shoving his hands down the pants of a man, CNN is like a sex club from hell. 

The end of the orgy isn’t what upset CNN staff, it was something even worse…for people with no scruples or talent – they are terrified that their next boss might want some accountability. 

One thing Zucker did, either because he was fooling around with his deputy and recognized he couldn’t or because he just sucked at his job, was allowed for any and all standards of journalism and ethics to disappear. 

CNN is embarrassing, both to itself and the profession of journalism. There isn’t a single person on the network worthy of trust. During Zucker’s tenure, CNN stopped mattering. They went from a second most popular network to a punchline to an unfunny joke on all of us.

On a related note, the employees at CNN were relieved of the pressure of performing. Not only did ratings not matter, seemingly at all, but professionalism didn’t either. Jim Acosta isn’t qualified to be a waiter, let alone be White House correspondent for a news network. Yet, there he was. Brian Stelter, Uncle Fester’s “before” picture, has a face for radio and a voice for print, yet he has a show.


CNN became Zucker’s personality, warts and all, or actually just all warts. What have they broken? What do they do? They spend more time on the President who left office a year and two weeks ago than they do the current occupant of the Oval Office. You were almost embarrassed for them, but they’re such arrogant people they make it impossible to truly give a damn.

With a new boss, there’s a possibility the idea of journalistic ethics might become required. That has to scare the Stelter out of people for whom it’s never been an issue. Add to that the idea that attracting an audience, actually getting ratings, could be required to hold a job there and you begin to see why everyone is upset. 

The decade-long orgy at CNN came to an end, allegedly thanks to the actions of fired anchor Chris Cuomo, who is reportedly close to sealing a $9 million deal to settle his lawsuit for breach of contract with the network. The story is Cuomo outed Zucker’s affair, but the affair was know by everyone but their spouses for years, allegedly. That means it’s much more likely, and believable, that Cuomo’s outing of Zucker was just the tip of the iceberg he knows, and that $9 million is for silence and nothing more.

Chris Cuomo likely knows where the bodies are buried, and more disturbingly, where the fishbowl is kept. It’s enough to make Don Lemon cry…


Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!), host of a daily radio show on WCBM in Maryland, and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter


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