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Earthquakes and Hurricanes and Morons

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

After an earthquake and now a hurricane, this week in politics seems so boring. If you really think about it, were these people not fighting over the ability to make your life Hell, it would be really boring. But they are, so it’s not.


On with the show...

You Can Choose Any Candidate You Like, As Long As You Choose One Of These

He is a five-term U.S. Representative from a tough seat next to Detroit. He was twice elected the House GOP's Policy Chair, the caucus' fourth highest ranking member. He is been called "the smartest member of Congress," one of its "best speakers and debaters," and "the closest thing to a Reagan Republican" in the Presidential field. He is the youngest candidate for President. He also represents the district in which I grew up, but that, along with the fact that he plays a mean guitar, are minor points. The main point is you won’t see him in the next Presidential debate.

Once more Congressman Thaddeus McCotter will be barred from a Presidential debate.

I’m not saying he’s my candidate, I don’t have one yet. (Considering I live in a Democrat stronghold, my vote really isn’t going to matter anyway, but still...) But shouldn’t he be there? Shouldn’t more of them be there? At least in the first few debates?

I’ve always been of the mind that the early debates, the first two or three, should have everyone with some credibility in them. Not everyone has the money from the start, or media attention disproportional to their support (I’m looking at you, Jon Huntsman), and debates are the best way for voters to get exposure to all the options available. They should also be three hours long, which would allow for more participants.

Unfortunately they have TV events more than political events, which is up-side-down.

Presidential debates should be political events covered by TV, not the other way around. We aren’t electing the next reality show star, we’re electing a President. Commercial breaks and dumb “getting to know you” questions should be reserved for The Bachelor...or at least later debates. To properly “weed the field” the field actually needs to be present.

Some candidates simply aren’t rich, aren’t sons of billionaires, don’t have cult followings or aren’t media darlings with name recognition. Getting exposure to voters beyond small rooms in Iowa and New Hampshire is nearly impossible for some, but that doesn’t make what they have to say on the issues of the day any less valid. It they’re kooks they’ll soon be discovered and dismissed. If they’re solid conservatives they’ll soon garner support they otherwise couldn’t possibly have access to. But it doesn’t work that way, the system is rigged.


The story of the candidate coming “out of nowhere” is a thing of Hollywood, not modern politics. And we’re much worse off for it.

So while Huntsman gets interviews on This Week and Meet The Press, where he sounds more like he’s challenging Obama in the Democrat primary, McCotter sits outside.

The reason given is the one percent threshold the debate hosts have set for these early debates. That’s where Huntsman is - one percent. In a poll with an error rate of +/- three percent, that means he could have as much as four percent support or at little as negative two percent. I realize it’s impossible to have negative percent support, but I find it equally as difficult to believe he has even one percent. I’ve seen more unicorns and dragons combined than I have Huntsman supporters, outside of the media that is.

That’s the real catch - if the media likes someone they can make them. For a party with a healthy and rightful distrust of the media it’s an odd fact that they, more than anything else, determine who is or isn’t a “viable” candidate. It’s an odd fact that shouldn’t be allowed to stand.

For crying out loud, the Democrats in 2008 had Mike Gravel in their early debates, and the only thing of note he did that election cycle was to throw a rock in a pond after staring creepily into a camera for a few minutes. Think of them what you will, but Thaddeus McCotter and former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson aren’t fringe, they’re just not known.

The early stages of the nominating process are supposed to be about getting to know about as many candidates as possible so we don’t end up with “the next in line” or “tap-in putt” nominee (I’m looking at you Bob Dole and John McCain).

Again, I don’t have a candidate in the race yet, but I know I want as many candidates in the race as possible to choose from. Tell a conservative that the government is attempting to limit your choices on anything and there will be outrage, so why allow the media and party establishment to do the same thing when it comes to our candidates for President?


I Had Way Too Much Fun On Twitter This Week Not To Share

Yes, there is much to be outraged over this week, there always is. But some weeks it’s just better to have fun.

I’m not going to lie to you, I spend too much time on Twitter. The micro-blogging site is addicting to a news junkie. It’s unfettered access to immediate information in bite sized chunks. It’s the donut holes at the fat farm for news junkies. We can’t get enough.

(I’m here on Townhall once a week, you will find me here on Twitter everyday.)

Not only is Twitter great for news, it’s also fun for picking fights with liberals and a place to have a lot of fun. Since I try to make the column not only informative but entertaining (sometimes I succeed, sometimes I Obama it up), I thought I’d take the advice of a good friend and include a section on the tweets I sent out under the hashtag #TweetsFrom1985.

For those of you not on Twitter, or those of you who are but never really got the whole hashtag thing, it’s a way of branding a tweet on a certain subject. They can be easily searched for and followed. There is the #tcot (top conservatives on twitter) which the Right uses to track news. And there’s #p2 which liberals use for reasons I can only assume have to do with the word “progressive” or they’re just letting the world know what bodily function they want to do to the Constitution after defecating on it. I didn’t make them up so I don’t know what they mean.

I saw some friends were tweeting with #TweetsFrom1985 in sort of a time machine way for fun. There were tweets about Back to the Future, various bands that were popular at the time, etc., and what people back then would’ve said about them had Twitter existed.

I wondered what Barack Obama would’ve tweeted back then. The below tweets are from @BHObama1985, a name I made up that, at least as of this moment, doesn’t exist. So they’re me retweeting what Barack Obama, a Chicago based community organizer, would’ve tweeted in 1985.

RT @BHObama1985 damn it, I missed golf because of work today. I swear, I will never, EVER allow that to happen again! #TweetsFrom1985


RT @BHObama1985: Just got dumped. Told the GF I loved her but wanted to fundamentally transform her. She didn't like that. #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985 My mom just sent me an old pair of her jeans, awesome! These things will NEVER go out of style! #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985 It's not fair how some people work hard & take risks to make a lot of money while others don't & get nothing #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985: Got so baked last night that I almost felt guilty about never having held a real job. ALMOST. #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985: To Do List: Need to find a new church, my current pastor doesn't hate America, Jews or capitalism enough. #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985: My best friends Bill & Bernadine are the bomb! Literally! #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985 I wish I could someday be half the President Jimmy Carter was. #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985 This is clearly Jimmy Carter's recovery, Reagan is just taking credit. #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985 I predict capitalism will fall by 1991. No way we can continue to compete with superior USSR economy. #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985 If Reagan is half as lazy as they says he is, I might be qualified to be President. But not with my grades. #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985 Reagan went out to his ranch again. If I were him I'd go somewhere really expensive & make taxpayers pay! #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985 I hope I get a job 1 day where I don't have to do anything, can blame others, golf a lot & make others pay. #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985: I can't believe I didn't get the job at Gibson Guitars. I'll make them regret that someday! Mark my words! #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985 Had great dinner with Bill & Bernadine. They are teaching me so much about how this country sucks. #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985 I don't get it, Reagan did everything wrong & somehow the economy has turned around. He's just lucky. #TweetsFrom1985

RT @BHObama1985 Reagan is so lucky to be in office when Jimmy Carter's policies finally took hold & started working. #TweetsFrom1985


RT @BHObama1985: I'd love to go to Harvard Law, but with my crap grades there's no way I'd be accepted. #TweetsFrom1985

Anyway, I had fun writing those. I hope you had fun reading them.

Also-Ran Stories

It’s Our Money, Someone Might As Well Enjoy It. I’ve never seen anyone work so hard to get a job only to avoid actually doing it like Barack Obama and the Presidency. There’s no doubt it’s a hard job, and no one can know how hard it is until they actually do it, but this guy never really hit the ground running...or even walking. It’s like he hit the ground putting. If God golfed, Obama would’ve still played more rounds than him in the last 2 1/2 years...and God can get a tee time anywhere! But when the Obama family hit the filthy rich island of Martha’s Vineyard this week for a family vacation, I kind of suspected the golf would stop because it’s a “family vacation.” It is my understanding that you’re supposed to spend time with your family on those, unless it’s ironically named. Maybe it is because the President spent nearly, if not every, day golfing. Golf takes time, even if you’re only shooting 9. It’s a great way to relieve stress and get your mind off of work, but you can’t really get your mind off of what you’ve spent your time avoiding. I can’t blame him for golfing so much, when your wife spends $10 million taxpayer dollars to get away from you... Now the media is telling us that President Obama “cut short” his vacation because of hurricane Irene. He came back to DC Friday night rather than Saturday afternoon (his wife and kids stayed, so we get to pay for another separate flight for them). The media saying he “cut short” his vacation is an attempt to cover up the anger in the country of him and his family living large while so many suffer, but it’s a lie. Leaving when Obama did and saying his vacation was “cut short” is like saying you walked out of a movie because you didn’t stick around till the copyright notification after the credits. Technically? Sure. But really? Not so much. Though I don’t really mind the President relieving stress...he sucks enough at his job now, I can only imagine how bad he’d be at it if he were stressed.


Straight To The Point: Joe Biden Is An Idiot. As Mark Levin says, Joe Biden is the dumbest man to ever be Vice-President. Biden is a bipedal gaffe machine, but we all knew that. He actually IS the boob the media portrayed Dan Qualye as, but you won’t hear it from them. This week Biden has been in China...unfortunately he plans to return. While there he said he “fully understands” and is “not second guessing” China’s one child policy. That policy forces women who already have a child to have an abortion against their will and is responsible for countless deaths of infant girls because families there want boys, and when you can only have one...You get the picture. After realizing the stupidity of what he’d said, or more likely having it pointed out and explained to him, Biden later said he finds the policy “repugnant.” This was days later and NOT in China. Biden was chosen as VP to give “gravitas” and credibility to the then unknown and unaccomplished Senator from Illinois. If Biden, of all people, was picked to bring those things to a deficient campaign, what does that tell us about the guy who did the picking?

And In The End...

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is a horrible mayor. What he doesn’t like he bans or taxes, or both. He already excluded the first responder heroes from the 9/11 10th anniversary ceremony next month, now it’s the clergy. This billionaire buffoon wants the ceremony to be “inclusive,” so he bans anyone he doesn’t want included. He wants elected officials and victims families only. Fine, I get that. But by that unit of measure shouldn’t he also be excluded? He wasn’t Mayor then. By excluding him and his staff, security and whatever hangers-on he brings with him, how many people who deserve to be there more than him could that fit? I had hoped he would come to his senses before the event and invite these deserving people, but he’s proven yet again he has no senses to come to. It’s a shame, really. The ceremony could’ve been a day that brought everyone together, now it’s going to be a day that brings everyone Mike Bloomberg approves of together. And that list is getting smaller all the time.


Finally, I would’ve written about this story but there really isn’t a way for me to write about it that wouldn’t be horribly inappropriate. I mean seriously inappropriate. I can barely think of a sentence that doesn’t contain “tip of the iceberg,” “pain in the...” or “this jury really has some...” You can see my dilemma. It’s a, difficult subject to address tactfully. Let me just say that if you are a man and you suffer phantom pain easily, don’t click that link. And if you’re a man who doesn’t feel any phantom pain after reading it...No, I can’t. I can’t finish that. I can’t imagine you exist.

Well, that’s it. Sort of short, for me anyway.

Go about your week.

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