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OPINION

It’s All in a Day’s Work

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

It’s another typical Tuesday morning and a very large portion of the American populace is once again heading off to work. The day normally starts with a quick visit to Starbucks for a venti sugar-free vanilla latte with an extra dollop of whipped cream, and maybe a scone. Then, of course, it’s a short drive across town in order to drop-off and pick up the family’s dry cleaning. In addition, Tuesday morning would certainly not seem like a Tuesday morning without a quick visit to the bank to ensure that the expected paycheck has, in fact, been deposited into the appropriate bank account, while also confirming that the money is readily available. (Sometimes you just can’t trust the internet.) As the morning starts to fade, a phone call to the employer is in order, allowing for the opportunity to discuss a brand new program that’s only available for a select few. But as usual, a long wait time on the phone is never allowed to interfere with lunch at the newest and hottest bistro in town, which is another good reason to check the bank account early in the day.

The pace of the day rapidly heats up, and the demands are almost overwhelming. Next up is a visit to the new car lot to inspect and decide which automobile would be appropriate for the best deal offering “no down-payment,” “mega cash-back,” “no-interest,” and “no-payment-for-over-a-year.” Then, it’s off to Walmart to pick up a few cases of beer and some munchies, an occasion that also allows for the perusal of remaining Black Friday specials, especially the high-definition televisions for only $98.

As the workday comes to an end, our American worker, fatigued from an unusually heavy schedule, makes an important decision, “I think I’ll start the holiday season early and blow-off the rest of the year.”

Exhausted from the intensive efforts, our American laborer slumps in front of the TV and decides to review their credit balances on the newest Apple iPad.

Enthused that despite the lateness in the month, there seems to be a few bucks leftover in the aforementioned bank account; our American worker regroups, refreshes, and decides to call a few friends for an early week night out on the town.

Yes, from food stamps, disability tax credits, child payments, and dozens of other government programs, when your employer is the largesse of the federal government, your workday takes on a whole new meaning.

Some would say, “Thank goodness that we can’t outsource this type of work.”

While others may say, “Are you kidding me?”

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