Tipsheet

Biden's List of Potential Running Mates Has Dwindled

Joe Biden's list of potential running mates is reportedly narrowing. ABC News now says the candidate has nailed the list down to six potential women, including four African Americans, a Latina, and one fake Indian.

Following initial interviews, Democrats familiar with Biden's search committee say the team has narrowed the list down to the following six individuals: Failed presidential contenders and United States Sens. Kamala Harris (D-CA) and Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), Obama-era unmasker and National Security Adviser Susan Rice, Rep. and coronavirus hypocrite Val Demings (D-FL), the mayor of Atlanta who blamed the death of Ahmaud Arbery on President Trump, Keisha Bottoms, and the aforementioned Latina, Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham (D-NM). While Grisham is technically a woman of color, there is a lot of pressure on Biden to pick an African American woman so Democrats can further exploit the tragic death of George Floyd.

For the same reason, other potential VPs have fallen out of favor. Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar, who prematurely told a crowd she was joining the Biden ticket after suspending her own campaign and endorsing Biden right before Super Tuesday, is now considered an unlikely choice given her past work as a prosecutor in the Minneapolis area. The "defund the police" party can't have a vice president with a tough-on-crime record representing them. Joe Biden received a pass on his own tough-on-crime record, probably because Biden can't seem to remember very much of anything these days, like what state he's in, what he's talking about, or the people who used to work for him, like Tara Reade.

Sadly, failed politician Stacey Abrams says the Biden campaign hasn't called her about the position, despite Abrams' "concerns" of what might happen if Biden chooses anyone other than herself.

"No one takes Stacey seriously," a Biden insider told The New York Post. "And her public campaigning for the job seems more like a hostage negotiation than an actual attempt to get the job."

In an effort to raise her national profile, Michigan Democratic Gov. Gretchen Whitmer jockeyed for the VP spot by ordering draconian lockdown restrictions under the guise of flattening the curve. Whitmer's name is conspicuously also not on the list.

During an interview with CBS News this week, Biden said he is looking for a "strong" vice president who will be "ready to be president on day one." Given the declining state of Biden's mental faculties, there's a good chance they will be.

According to ABC News, one-on-one interviews between Biden and the potential VPs are expected in the coming weeks. Biden plans to announce his running mate by August 1.