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Is the Cocaine Man in the Biden White House Really a Mystery?

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Cocaine was found in the Biden White House, and no one knows who it belongs to or how it got there. It’s a mystery wrapped in a riddle. With sophisticated security systems and the entire domestic intelligence arsenal, the Biden White House would rather duck and cover than get to the bottom of cocainegate. 

The substance was found near the Situation Room, which National Security Adviser Jake Sullivan hilariously said isn’t in use right now due to construction, as if that makes the cocaine in the White House story any less embarrassing. But, as Katie wrote, he also insinuated blame: the drugs were brought in by the construction workers. 

Suppose the security systems can’t even identify a person of interest. In that case, they’re worthless; a point made more explicit given how the FBI could identify hundreds of January 6 rioters, track them down, and arrest them. The House Oversight Committee is reportedly getting its briefing on the matter later this month. 

White House Press Secretary Karine Grey Poupon lashed out at some members of the press who might have suggested that the drugs belonged to Hunter Biden, the cracked-out son of the president. Lady, imaginations will run wild when you stonewall, and people have deadlines, especially those in the White House Press Corps. Also, you can’t say that’s an irresponsible implication and then get huffy when asked to declare that the drugs don’t belong to the Biden family. 

Incredibly, anyone from the Biden White House thinks this story will fade. The media is doing their best not to give it oxygen, to the point where they’re trying to shame the conservative press for exploiting Joe Biden’s disgrace of a son; attacks on the family come with the territory. And Hunter isn’t a kid. He’s at the core of a bribery scheme involving his dad, where millions of dollars were allocated to them in shady government access deals.

Cocaine near the Situation Room isn’t something that will die off. The Biden Department of Justice seems to have interfered multiple times in independent investigations into Hunter, even allegedly blocking US attorneys from bringing charges. The White House isn’t going to get a pass here. So, why not drug test everyone at the White House? Cocaine can show up in hair tests for months. This awkward situation seems to warrant such extreme measures. 

Blaming the workers doesn’t seem to work, and the inability to find someone, anyone responsible for this breach, won’t be believed, except by those who use cocaine. Maybe it’s Joe Biden’s cocaine? I’m willing to believe that right now.