Last month, I heard some really bad news. It seems the State of North Carolina is about to lay off 3000 more employees in the midst of a massive budget shortfall. But that wasn’t the only bad news I got last month. I also got this email from a representative of our university’s new LGBTQIA Resource Center:
I just wanted to remind everyone about the showing of Milk tomorrow night. This will be the innaugral [sic] event for UNCW's LGBTQIA Resource Office, and also a fundraiser for Wilmington's Domestic Violence Shelters and Services. The film will be shown at 7:00 p.m in Lumina Theater and admission is free. So please come see this important, and Oscar Award Winning film.
UNCW GLBTQIA Office
If you’re like me, you probably have a few questions for Amy Schlag. I’ve listed some of mine below and answered them whenever possible:
1. Why can’t you spell the word “inaugural?” The answer is that Amy is an English professor at UNCW. By the way, she is a White English professor, not a Black English professor like Maurice Martinez.
2. What is the meaning of all the letters in this veritable alphabet soup of liberal victim-hood? The answer is “gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, questioning, inter-sexed, and ally.” For the record, I had to write Amy to ask her the meaning of “A”. I thought it might stand for androgyny or, perhaps, something to do with the buttocks. We already have the feminists reclaiming the c-word in The Vagina Monologues. I don’t want to hear a bunch of LGBTQI people reclaiming the a-word. That’s one monologue I can do without.
3. Why is your new center called “LGBTQIA” in the text of the invitation and “GLBTQIA” in your signature? Is there a power struggle going on between the “Gs” and the “Ls”? Is it likely to become as contentious as the struggle between the “crips” and the “bloods”? I mean, can’t we all just get along?!
I think there are a number of questions to be raised with the new LGBTQIA (or GLBTQIA) Resource Center leadership. But I don’t want any miscommunication of my ideas. So I’m going to call Maurice Martinez, the professor of Black English in the UNCW Watson School of Education for help. Maybe he also teaches Queer English, which can help me get my point across with the new queer center, or queer new center. Who knows, after I learn some Queer English, I might even be able to get a job teaching in the public school system!
But, in the meantime, I plan to write Chancellor Rosemary DePaolo with a few questions. Some examples follow: