Kurt  Schlichter

Conservatism is the Ramones at CBGB – loud, fast and alive. In contrast, liberalism is the headliner at a state fair concert. It’s Foghat, serenading its anesthetized fans as America slow rides into decline.

Back in the 70s, the Ramones put a steel-toed boot into the behind of a fat, flabby rock 'n roll world that has lost its way. That's what conservatives are doing today to American politics and culture. And the dinosaur rockers of the status quo hate it.

But some things have changed. Back in the 70’s, it was alienated young people leading the way, yet today’s Millennials support the very liberal status quo that keeps them down. What's pathetic is that they are so eagerly complicit in their own serfdom.

Dead-end jobs, innovations like Uber sacrificed to protect established Democrat corporatist allies, and tons of student debt for their degrees in Feminist Interpretive Dance – you Millennials have been, and will be, fooled again. And again and again.

I want to make clear for the record that The Who rocks, though many liberals are likely offended by Roger Daltrey’s shamelessly heteronormative persona.

Look at ancient Hillary Clinton, that improbable Millennial heroine. She's the Bachman Turner Overdrive of American politics, out there literally taking care of business – especially the businesses who take care of her by paying her hundreds of thousands a pop to come talk to them.

There's no energy left in liberalism, no excitement, just more rules, more controls, everything the punks hated. You can't say this, you can't think that, everybody read the memo – today we're scheduled to be angry at people don't want to subsidize our birth control! Oh, and make sure you obtain a videotaped, notarized consent form before you kiss your cisgender hook-up.

What's hilarious is that it’s us hidebound, repressed, sex-hating conservatives who are the ones trying to liberate liberalism's victims from its fascisty clutches, but its greatest victims are the ones doing the most resisting.


Kurt Schlichter

Kurt Schlichter (Twitter: @KurtSchlichter) was personally recruited to write conservative commentary by Andrew Breitbart. He is a successful Los Angeles trial lawyer, a veteran with a masters in Strategic Studies from the United States Army War College, and a former stand-up comic.