John Hawkins

It's time for all of you toothless hillbillies in the Teabagger movement to learn something from your betters on the Left. So, you need to stop listening to hateful ideologues like Rush Limbaugh, Thomas Sowell, and whoever the KKK's Grand Dragon is these days and start listening to reasonable voices of moderation like Paul Krugman, Rachel Maddow, and Michael Moore. Open up those Teabagger ears and listen to the sweet, sweet melody of the NEW TONE on spending.

1) Spending more money is popular. Spending less money is unpopular. Here's an experiment: Go up to a small child and give him an ice cream cone. After he licks it a couple of times, smash his face into it and take it away. If the child's parents are rich, you even have permission to enjoy that a little bit. Now, is the child happier when he's getting the free ice cream or when it's being taken away? Duh, obvious answer even for a Teabagger!

Now, imagine the American people as ignorant children from Alabama and yourself as a smart, compassionate adult from Berkeley who knows what's best for them. That's an analogy even a Teabagger should be able to figure out and it's why we demolish you in every election, except in the last one, when Halliburton probably teamed up with Fox to rig the numbers.

2) Somebody else will take care of it! The most tedious thing about dealing with you Teabaggers is your attitude toward spending. "Oh, WE'VE got to fix it. If not US, then who?" How about instead, we let somebody else fix it? That's easier, right? We can just write in the budget, "Twenty years from now, the budget is balanced and we start paying off the debt" and that's that. What do you mean that's not a strategy? It's a great strategy.

Step 1) We have a 14 trillion dollar debt and 100 trillion dollars in unfunded Medicare and Social Security liabilities.

Step 2) An unforeseen miracle occurs.

Step 3) The debt is all paid off. Medicare and Social Security are fully funded!

Who says we don't have a plan?

John Hawkins

John Hawkins runs Right Wing News and Linkiest. You can see more of John Hawkins on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, G+,You Tube, and at PJ Media.