Frank J. Fleming

Aren't you excited? It will soon be time for Barack Obama to enter campaign mode! We all remember the 2008 campaign as one of the greatest times in our nation's history. That's when we all sat and listened to Obama's mellifluous words and envisioned what a perfect country we'd have with him in charge. Because that's where Obama has always performed the best: our imaginations.

So now President Obama will begin to make promises of what he'll do in his second term, and I just can't wait to start imagining how great things will be when he's reelected. And lucky for us, he's left a lot of room for improvement in this country. Obama was smart; he knew not to solve everything in his first term so there would still be things to hope for in the second. In fact, he's actually moved the country a little the other direction so he can promise to fix even more things than when he first ran for office.

So here are the promises Obama plans to make for his second term:

New inspirational slogans. Obama inspired us during the 2008 campaign with "Yes we can!" and further motivated us while president with "Win the future!" Now he's working on yet another empowering, non-specific slogan for his next term. His potential new slogans are:

"Oh no he didn't!"

"We should get credit for trying."

"Yes we future!"

"It's not as bad as it looks."

"Hey, I don't criticize how you do your job."

More jobs. Obama already created countless jobs in his first term. Scientists estimate that the stimulus saved or created somewhere between 2 million and 80 billion jobs. The only problem was that he couldn't quite create more jobs than were lost each month. But with all the experience from his first term, he will easily be able to create tons more jobs in his second term, and it should only cost a few trillion dollars more. Who’s up for building more infrastructure?

End more wars. Obama promised to end the war in Iraq, and he's done even more than he promised, as soon he'll have ended the conflicts in both Iraq and Libya. In his second term, he plans to end even more wars. And if he has to start some new wars in his second term just so he can end them, it will be worth it to show how dedicated he is to peace.


Frank J. Fleming

Political satirist Frank J. Fleming is the author of the HarperCollins e-books "How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome" and “Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything”. He also writes columns for the New York Post and PJ Media and posts at his blog IMAO.us. He is the U.S.'s leading proponent of nuking the moon.