Doug Giles

If you want to score twenty G’s this summer and garner at least thirty minutes of crazy fame then get busy rooting out Obama’s college transcripts.

This past Friday provocateur Brooks Bayne who runs asked me if I’d help get the word out about his offer of 20k to anyone who could produce what the White House does not want us to lay our eyes on, namely: BHO’s college docs.

I told Brooks, “Let me pray about it and I’ll get back with you.” Being a man of my word I knelt and prayed, “Lord, what would thou haveth me to doeth?” No sooner did I finish my supplication than a light shone in my office and an angel from heaven appeared and said in a high-pitched Chinese accent, “Do you really have to pray about this, numb nuts?” I was like, “Okay. I guess that’s a yes. Man, you’re an angry angel.”

The media clearly doesn’t give a rat’s backside about Obama’s international man of mystery status—especially in regard to his college days. What could possibly be in those transcripts that could be freakier than what we already know about the roots of Obama’s rage and his list of friends that makes the Star Wars bar scene look like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir?

There definitely must be some whacked crap in those ‘scripts because they’re being protected more stringently than our special forces military operations have been.

What could be so bad? Did he get a bunch of C’s and D’s? Did he get caught using the girls’ bathroom? Did he get disciplined for smacking his gum too loudly during Advanced Horse Hockey Studies in Alinsky’s Machinations class? What? It’s gotta be some damning stuff because 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue sure ain’t interested in it getting unearthed. And the media is completely dismissive of it as well, which tells me that there’s gold in them thar hills!

Check out the challenge and the offer from Mr. Bayne and the

You’ve failed, media.

You’ve had over three years to vet President Barack Obama. Yet in three years in office and over a year of campaigning beforehand, you have either been oddly uninterested or purposefully ignorant of Barack Obama’s educational history. You were, however, quite interested in George Bush’s transcripts.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.