Doug Giles

For this weekend I was originally going to write on five reasons why Obama will be reelected in 2012. Why the gloomy prediction? Well, for me at least, it’s primarily because this current crop of GOP hopefuls gets me about as excited as watching Joy Behar doing an interpretive dance in Borat’s thong to The Doors’ classic hit “Riders on the Storm” (the extended version) while smoking a cigar with spinach in her teeth.

Now, that doesn’t mean that I don’t like certain—or many—aspects of the various conservative contenders who are starting to jockey for position; it simply means that I think Obama the Swiffer would dust them with his billion dollar Chi-town based voter fraud fueled spin machine. That’s all.

So, what caused me to change the topic for this week’s screed? Well, I saw The Donald open up a can of verbal whup ass on Obama on Hannity last Thursday and Friday night. It was extremely convincing in that he had refreshingly solid, no-BS answers for the multifaceted debacles “the worst president ever” has entrenched us in and explained how he sees himself as the crap-cutting dealmaker to pull us out.

And it seems that I’m not alone in finding DT’s comments compelling. According to every poll out there America really digs what Donald is doing, and he’s either tied or ahead of the GOP wannabe pack. Trump is even polling better than Barack in the new Biden/Michelle Obama poll. It’s a madhouse, folks. A madhouse.

Another thing that makes me hopeful that Donald can trump Obama in 2012 is that David Plouffe, the White House’s chief ploofer, says that Trump has “zero chance” at becoming president. This translates to me as they’re shaking in their taxpayer-funded wingtips over there at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and are praying to God (or whoever the hell they pray to) that Trump doesn’t run.

I was at my favorite cigar bar in Miami this past week when one of my good conservative Cuban aficionados asked me if I could really vote for Trump, to which I said, “Uh … yeah. I voted for McCain. I still haven’t forgiven myself. Pray for me.”

Here are my buddy’s problems with Trump:

1. He’s arrogant. My answer: Well, if he is, it’s not without cause.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.