I believe it’s written in the book of Revelation that when an over-tanned, drunken dwarf named Snookie rises from the north shore with tetherball-sized silicone ta-tas, gets on TV and parades her pertinacious perversions to American tweens, and said tweens actually take notes during this porn show in order to imitate this wanton wench the following weekend, then my brethren, the end has officially come and the moon will be turned into blood.

Yea, according to the prophets, when parents become so stupid as to yield their young ones’ tender souls unto the influence of a trollop who’s making millions off America by turning her naughty bits into a sexual turnstile, it is at that exact point that Christ, from his celestial perch in heaven, says, “That’s it!” and C4s the planet. I believe that is found in Revelation 6:66. Google it and get back to me.

God, I feel sorry for young parents nowadays. Not only is BHO and his Chicago-based socialistic cabal attempting to muck up your toddler’s economic tomorrow by replacing America’s exceptionalism with government funded, debt-riddled mediocrity, but the progressives are also hammering your children with uncut filth via TV and the Internet in an unprecedented way.

For instance, pops, your little girl is made to feel weird via pop culture if …

1. She doesn’t sleep with a few chicks. Katy Perry does it, and she’s rich and on TV!

2. She doesn’t make out with everything that moves.

3. She doesn’t embrace being bad (as good is so passé, and being a whore, well that’s totally awesome). It’s empowerment!

4. She doesn’t take nude photos and videos of herself and send them around the planet via her cell phone, Facebook and Twitter.

Y’know, if I were a woman I’d be pretty ticked as it appears that “secular progressives” within America have succeeded in making young women known and appreciated only if they’re a mud flap girl. The empowered woman of today, ladies and gents, is the girl who wears a Hustler T- shirt, will strip on command, and has no problemo whatsoever in turning her genitals into a Jiffy Lube.

For the parental units of the Y chromosomes I really feel for you, as well, as the first order of business for this f-f-f-f-fouled-up culture is to strip all your boy’s boyness from him and turn him into a dandy devoid of the masculine richness that the God-blessed testosterone fog provides for the male collective. This ridiculous demonic culture hates men and masculinity, and parents need to fight against our culture’s metro-ing of their man-child with tooth, fang and claw.