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OPINION

Make Progressives Live By Their Own Rules

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Like most people, I like pizza. I also like bacon on my pizza sometimes.

My old neighborhood in Baltimore had five pizza places in fairly close proximity, but one was better than the others, both in price and taste. So, after a night of adult beverages with friends, we’d inevitably end up in one of them, generally the one most convenient to where we were. Sometimes that was the one with the better pizza.

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One time we were in there and my friends and I were in a “pizza with bacon” mood, but there was a problem: This place didn’t have bacon as a topping option.

They hadn’t sold out … that wasn’t the issue. The issue was they didn’t offer bacon at all. The place is owned by people who are Muslim, and they don’t offer pork in any form. Their pepperoni is beef, as is their sausage. They didn’t even offer turkey bacon.

We immediately rallied our friends, wrote up protest signs, called the mayor and media, screamed slogans about how my right to the pizza we wanted the way we wanted was being trampled, and filed suit against the place with the help of the ACLU.

Of course we did nothing of the sort. We ordered one with other toppings, and the next time we were out and had a hankering for pizza with bacon, we went to one of the other places.

It’s not a perfect analogy, but it’s close to what should happen when a gay couple walks into a florist, bakery or whatever owned by a devoutly religious person whose beliefs don’t permit them to provide a service for a gay wedding.

Normal people, gay or straight, would hear the objection, probably would be upset, and would leave thinking, “Glad we found that out now because I don’t want to give my money to someone who doesn’t want to serve me.” But we aren’t dealing with normal people here; we’re dealing with activists.

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Activists on the progressive left have no decency; they have only an agenda. If they have to trample the rights of others, particularly Christians, all the better.

It would be one thing if there were only one place from which to get a cake or flowers, but there are dozens. That doesn’t matter to activist progressives – that ANY exist that do not conform to their will is too many. So we end up where we are today.

The state of Indiana is under attack from progressives not because of its Religious Freedom Restoration Act, but because the governor is a Republican considering a run for president. If it were the principle, this uninformed army would be protesting in every state with a RFRA and non-stop in Washington demanding the federal version be repealed. They aren’t, and that’s not by accident.

Selective outrage, generally fake and drummed up with the help of ignorant and willing participants in the media, is the hallmark of the left.

You can have binders full of women’s resumes and be mocked as a monster and a misogynist. Or, if you’re part of the progressive tribe, you can drop your pants and demand favors, get those favors from an intern, or rape a woman and it’s all good.

To hell with that!

Rationalizing with the left is like negotiating with terrorists. You can’t do it. They both have the same objective – your destruction. It’s about time conservatives start treating them the way they treat everyone else.

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It’s all or nothing with ISIS, Al Qaeda and the progressive left; stray from their orthodoxy and you have to be destroyed. Time to return the favor.

Don’t waste your time arguing with them. You’ll find more logical consistency and honesty in an old shoe than you will an activist progressive. But the mindless minions, those who sign petitions and think they’re saving the world or post the dumb memes on Facebook about evil Republicans … they are getable.

No, you won’t be able to educate them to come around to logic – if 18+ years of life hasn’t instilled them with common sense, it simply isn’t getting into their heads. But they are Pavlovian in their reactions, and that you can use.

Comedy Central announced its choice to replace Jon Stewart on The Daily Show – a guy named Trevor Noah. No one knew who he was when it was announced, but he’s supposedly some sort of comedian. More than that, though, he’s someone with a long track record of posting racist, sexist, anti-Semitic “jokes” online.

This isn’t just Fox News talking. It’s leftists. It’s Slate. It’s The Washington Post. It’s almost every progressive outlet. He’s made “fat chick” jokes. He’s made “racially insensitive” jokes. He’s made a lot of anti-Jewish jokes. Comedians, even unfunny ones like Noah, used to be able to do that, but not anymore.

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The progressive hyper-sensitive mass of ignoramuses conditioned to take offense at a shift in the breeze can’t turn it off. Pavlov’s dogs never got past the sound of a bell, and these monsters can’t let perceived slights slide even when their masters want them to. Exploit that. Exploit the hell out of it.

These progressive zombies have protested speakers on college campuses who agree with them because they didn’t agree with them strongly enough or on every single point. They are ready to be outraged at things. Many of them seem to need the outrage.

Find stories about Mr. Noah. Post them on your and your progressive friends’ Facebook pages. Tweet them. Retweet them. Comment on them. Keep that fire burning in them. Call for Noah’s firing.

Noah may be a nice man (you’d think he’d have to have something going for him because “funny” ain’t it), but he’s a progressive, and progressives will eat their own if they aren’t pure enough. And, most importantly, the politics of absolutism and personal destruction for anyone who strays from the thought plantation and breaks from progressive orthodoxy is the left’s monster – turn it on them.

And engage in it yourselves. Demand Comedy Central fire Trevor Noah. I know it’s not our nature, but our nature isn’t winning the war.

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These are the liberal progressives’ rules, and they’ve been goose-stepping to them against conservatives unchallenged for too long. Make them live by them too.

Progressive love to impose their will on the American people, but rarely do they live by those rules. Al Gore lectures on the problems with your carbon footprint, then hops on his private jet to fly to his enormous mansion. Noah isn’t Gore, but you have to start somewhere. And start we must if we’re ever going to get the fascism to stop.

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