Today's installment of the Decline and Fall of Western Civilization comes from Hollywood -- as if that's a surprise. Tinseltown is demeaning Christianity again -- as if that's a surprise, too. But this time, it's not some gutter-mouthed punk. This time, it's a network doing it, formally. ABC has approved a pilot with the title "Good Christian Bitches."
Is this what Christian women -- especially the good ones -- deserve?
The first credit for this decision to offer offensive titles actually goes to CBS, which began this stupid trend with its awful sitcom "(Bleep) My Dad Says." Now one of Discovery's cable channels has a show titled "Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?" It chronicles women who have married vicious criminals.
But Disney-owned ABC (oh, the irony) has not one, but two B-word pilots in its outhouse of a production department. They're also considering a show titled "Don't Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23."
Mickey Mouse should have his hands over his ears.
This titling trend matches Tinseltown's concerted effort to add profanity "seasoning" to spice nearly every script on network TV shows. On prime-time broadcast TV, use of the B-word alone increased from 431 instances in 1998 to 1,277 in 2007.
If this show wasn't marketed directly at a female audience, the same ones who watch those witch-versus-witch reality shows like the "Real Housewives" shows on Bravo, the B-word would sound more sexist and demeaning. So it's OK to say it because it's become a word women can call each other. Now, if it's used by an angry male, it's a hanging crime. We're talking about something verging on domestic violence.
Might ABC bow to any sense of decency and change the titles before it picks these shows up for the fall? Fugetaboutit. "GCB" is based on a novel by Kim Gatlin, who unsurprisingly stole her own concept from ABC. A divorced mother of two returns to her hometown in the Dallas suburbs, and as Gatlin describes it, "In an Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Desperate Housewives on steroids style, her old friends are already out to destroy her reputation."
So that makes them good Christian bitches.
If this were a CBS pilot, they could just call it "Desperate Housewives: Dallas." (That seems to work for "CSI" and "NCIS.") Gatlin claims the title isn't mocking God -- that it just refers to people who fall more than a little short of good Christian behavior. But she is so fond of the scandalous sound of her sleazy title that her website (using those same words) sells a pile of merchandise with the initials "GCB" and a cross on it, from shirts, caps and tote bags all the way down to overpriced "party packs" of peppermint gum and Styrofoam cups.