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Monday, February 04, 2008
Paul Greenberg :: Townhall.com Columnist
50 Ways To Beat the Cold
by Paul Greenberg
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Was the Copenhagen Global Warming Summit Walk-Out a Win for the U.S.?


31. Some foot-stompin', knee-slappin' country fiddlin'.

32. See "South Pacific." Or check out Elizabeth Taylor in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." Or maybe Kathleen Turner and William Hurt in "Body Heat." Or any movie set in New Orleans.

33. A goose down comforter.

34. Dixieland jazz, not the cool kind.

35. Exercise the mind; turn off the teevee. (Which is a good idea for any time of the year.)

36. Think of FEMA. Or the Internal Revenue Service. If that doesn't get your ire up, nothing will.

37. See if you can still do 100 push-ups. Breaks for hot tea and general resuscitation allowed.

38. Sweaters. Galoshes. Gloves. Parkas. Layers in general. Everything your mother told you to wear and then some.

39. Longhandles.

40. Cuddle.

41. Piping hot oatmeal.

42. Hot chocolate. Don't forget the marshmallows.

43. Toasted marshmallows.

44. Bathroom heaters.

45. Tea. Or black coffee with a soupcon of bourbon. Irish coffee, but for goodness' sake forget the whipped cream. It gets in the way of the Jameson's, or whichever brand of Irish you prefer.

46. Scarves. Woolen ones with a fringe.

47. Balaclavas, not to be confused with baklavah - which wouldn't hurt, either.

48. Footsie pajamas.

49. Bring the pets indoors. Make it a three-dog night.

50. Watch "Animal Crackers." It may not make you any warmer, but the Marx Brothers will make you feel better.

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Make Me Warm
Please Vote For Mitt Romney and make this southern boy PROUD. I am sick to death of
McVain, McBama, Mcclinton. Then give me a
tall bottle of Bud & I'll be warm.
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