Paper straws are gross and an affront to beverage consumption. We all know this. Nothing ruins a morning faster than going to take a sip of your iced coffee and finding a soggy collapsed pulpy-tasting mess through which you're supposed to enjoy an overpriced drink. In addition to being an unnecessary drag on the limited relief a beverage of choice can bring amid our trying times, it turns out those paper straws are also full of toxic chemicals that make them less "green" than their plastic counterparts.
"BUT THE TURTLES!" the shrill eco-warriors yell. Supposedly, paper straws are the only way to save animal species that abandon their young on beaches around the world to hatch with a slim chance of surviving to adulthood due to the natural circle of life.
As it turns out, paper straws aren't the "eco-friendly" alternative their proponents claim while demanding you give up your strong and effective plastic straws.
"Belgian researchers found that these so-called 'green' utensils are toxic and therefore potentially worse for the environment than their much-vilified plastic counterparts, according to a new study published in the journal Food Additives & Contaminants," The New York Post reported this week:
“Straws made from plant-based materials, such as paper and bamboo, are often advertised as being more sustainable and eco-friendly than those made from plastic,” Thimo Groffen, Ph.D., study author and an environmental scientist at the University of Antwerp, said in a statement. “However, the presence of PFAS [poly- and perfluoroalkyl-based substances known as “forever chemicals” because they last for a long time before breaking down] in these straws means that’s not necessarily true.”
What's more, the amount of these toxic chemicals in paper and bamboo straws was found to be higher than those found in other materials. As the Post explained, "researchers analyzed the PFA concentrations of 39 brands of drinking straws, which were comprised of five materials: paper, bamboo, glass, stainless steel, and plastic. They found that paper straws were the most PFA-filled with a whopping 90% of paper straws containing the chemicals."
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Meanwhile 80 percent of bamboo straws, a sort of compromise between paper and plastic straws that still fails to do the job adequately, had the chemicals. 75 percent of plastic straws were found to have them along with 40 percent of glass straws. Only steel straws were free of the toxic substances.
More on the chemicals found in the paper straws from the Post:
By far the most prevalent PFA was perfluorooctanoic acid, which has been been banned globally since 2020. However, this substance is still manufactured in some countries and could be present in products bought by US consumers.
Also present were trifluoroacetic acid and trifluoromethanesulfonic acid, PFAS which easily dissolve in water, meaning they could potentially leach out of straws into beverages.
“The presence of PFAS in paper and bamboo straws shows they are not necessarily biodegradable,” warned Groffen.
Not to mention that some of these so-called “100% recyclable” straws are actually anything but.
It’s unclear how these substances — which have been used since the 1940s to repel water and grease in everything from cookware to carpets — ended up in the straws, although the presence of them in every brand suggests they were added on purpose as a liquid repellant.
If there's any bright side to this, it's that "low concentrations of PFAS, such as the amounts ingested from using straws, are unlikely to pose serious health risks," according to the Post. Still, their report notes "animal studies suggest that an accumulation of these chemicals over time could cause a range of appalling side effects, including liver damage, a weakened immune system, underweight babies and even infant death."
That is, the turtle might not get your paper straw stuck in her nose — but over time it could mean her liver is cooked and she can't produce healthy offspring.
So, per the study, paper straws are gross, they have the most toxic "forever chemicals" in them, and they're not actually 100 percent recyclable. If the nasty taste and failure to retain their form wasn't enough, maybe this is enough to make Americans put down the paper and get a real straw. In fact, it seems it would be more eco-friendly to do so.
