Tipsheet

Liberal Comedian Offers a Bribe to Clarence Thomas to Resign

Liberal comedian John Oliver is offering a bribe to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas to resign from the high court.

"Clarence Thomas is arguably the most consequential justice on the court right now, and he’s never really seemed to like the job. He said, ‘It’s not worth doing for the grief.’ So, what if he can keep the luxury perks he clearly enjoys without having to endure all of that grief," the host of “Last Week Tonight” said of his $1 million per year offer “until you or I die.” 

The comedian claimed to have spoken to legal experts to see if he was breaking any laws with his offer—they assured him he wasn’t.

"Which seems crazy to me because it really feels like it shouldn’t be. But as they keep pointing out, there are no rules in place to stop me from doing this. And let me be clear: HBO is not putting up the money for this. I am personally on the hook," he said. "You can make me really regret this. I could be doing standup tours to pay for your retirement for years."

To sweeten the offer, Oliver added on a $2.4 million tour bus to his allegedly serious proposal.

"A million dollars a year and a brand-new condo on wheels and all you have to do in return is sign the contract and get the f--- off the Supreme Court," Oliver said. "Thirty days [to take the offer], Clarence. Let’s do this... Your move, Clarence. Your f-----g move."