My Roommate's Dog's Birthday Is More Important Than Anything Joe Biden Had to Say Today

Posted: Jan 20, 2021 9:35 PM

I really didn’t care about today. There was nothing worth celebrating. Joe Biden is now the president of the United States. There was a lot of talk about unity and whatnot, but we all know that’s going to go down the drain quickly — very quickly. I’ll give Joe the benefit of the doubt since his career isn’t marked by the "woke" tantrums we see pervasively, but his officials are plotting vengeance. His people are getting enemy lists ready. The assault is coming. It’s just a matter of when, which is why we need to start stacking sandbags. These are sick people. They’re people of bad faith. They’re not to be trusted. Don’t fall for it. For now, let me extricate myself from politics for a second. Like we’re going far, far away from the topic because I just wanted to wish my roommate’s dog a happy birthday. Yeah, you read that right. Her name will not be disclosed, but she just turned four years old. This day, her birthday, is far more important than anything Joe Biden had to say today.

I’m not a dog lover, actually. In fact, dogs petrified me as a kid. We can blame a hyperactive black lab named “Domino,” who my parents bought prior to adopting me for the childhood trauma. Nowadays, they admit that they probably shouldn’t have gotten another dog after my father’s golden retriever died eons ago. Even my siblings hated bringing Domino inside every night; he was too hyper to keep indoors. So, yeah, not a dog person, but I guess you can say that I am now. Golden retrievers are great pets — and this good girl has been a delight on an otherwise awful day.

Trump departed the White House very early this morning, gave a rally at Andrews Air Force Base, and then left. He also dropped a video message to his supporters. Trump will be back in one form or another. He has spoken about running again in 2024. He commands the base of the GOP, and whatever fallout from the Capitol Hill riot is not irreparable. He’s already far, far ahead of any potential 2024 GOP candidate, and I’m betting that this field isn’t going to be improved much given the political bench we have right now. Also, what candidate could energize the Trump wing of the GOP? None. I wouldn’t mind Nikki Haley. In fact, I think she has the resumé to be president, but having the credentials and the political acumen is another thing. If Trump runs again in 2024, I’m behind him 100 percent. Sorry, Nikki, you’ll have to wait. I also wouldn’t mind his son, Don. Jr., running for president someday.

For now, we’re in the opposition, where hopefully, our side in the media sphere can put up a solid defense against the legislative nightmare that we face right now. But that’s for tomorrow. Right now, I’m celebrating a dog’s birthday because I need to tune out and enjoy something that isn’t the endless war called American politics.

I suggest you all do the same as well. You need breaks. We have a very long four years ahead of us.