Michelle Malkin: Shamelessly Hypocritical Peddler of Two-Piece, Photoshopped Swim-Smut

Mary Katharine Ham
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Posted: Sep 29, 2006 6:24 PM

Here's the playbook.

Throw up a questionable/obviously Photoshopped picture of an allegedly bikini-clad female, conservative pundit.

Put the picture up the same week she writes a column mourning the lost modesty of a formerly admirable teen idol.

Rage about the hypocrisy of it all, thereby proving yourself more sexually repressed and prudish than the Republicans you're intent on bashing since you seem to have missed the recent cultural development that one can manage to don a bikini and smile without, in fact, being a whore.

Ignore clear evidence that the photo is a fake.

Do not correct the post or apologize. Just suggest that the pundit is lying!

In fact, if possible, mock the female, conservative pundit in an update to the fake photo post and imply that the whole thing was a big joke, so you can then imply that conservatives are humorless blowhards in addition to being shamelessly hypocritical peddlers of two-piece swim-smut.

Mischaracterize the female conservative's calm, well-reasoned arguments and obvious debunking of the photo as angry and b****y and "hopping mad." You know, since she's right, and there's not much you can do about it.

And, always, always, always make sure your commenters are ready to make distasteful and degrading  jokes about the her looks and ethnicity.

Ta-daaa! Can I work for a left-leaning gossip blog, now? I could do this all day long.

Y'all screwed up and fell for a fake picture. Pull it and apologize, Reuters-style. Picture kill, baby.

Or, just get sued?

In other news, now that I know bikini-wearing is incompatible with conservative punditry, I will be turning in my resignation this evening. There are just too many yellow polka-dot skeletons in this gal's closet.

Update: Allah vows to bring the Photoshop jihad. This will not be pretty.

At IMAO, it has already been broughten.

I totally had shots with that chick at Spring Break, '97!