Fake Mud Jeans Just Became a Thing and Mike Rowe Is Not Happy About It

Posted: Apr 26, 2017 2:34 PM
Fake Mud Jeans Just Became a Thing and Mike Rowe Is Not Happy About It

After offering a range of controversial merchandise recently, such as the $85 leather-wrapped rock (which is sold out, by the way) and a $1,190 sock sandal, Nordstrom is now selling a pair of jeans with a fake, “caked-on muddy coating.”

The jeans, which can be yours for only $425, are advertised as “heavily distressed” and which “embody rugged, Americana workwear that's seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty.”

Except, of course, that the purchaser most certainly is afraid to “get down and dirty” since the mud is fake.

Former “Dirty Jobs” host Mike Rowe took notice and was decidedly unimpressed.

The jeans, he said in a Facebook post, are “further proof that our country’s war on work continues to rage in all corners of polite society.”

“Rugged Americana” is now synonymous with a “caked-on, muddy coating.” Not real mud. Fake mud. Something to foster the illusion of work. The illusion of effort. Or perhaps, for those who actually buy them, the illusion of sanity.

The Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans aren’t pants. They’re not even fashion. They’re a costume for wealthy people who see work as ironic – not iconic. To them, might I suggest the revolutionary new "Borax Wash," which I discovered some years ago while rescuing birds who had the misfortune of falling into Searle’s Lake in the lovely and picturesque town of Trona.

If Nordstrom’s wants to carry them, the description would read something like this:

“Finally - a pair of jeans for the hard-working gent who doesn’t want to actually wear them. The Borax Wash is so rugged and so manly, they don’t even need a human to hold them up! So sit back and relax, secure in the knowledge that your work pants can’t be folded or stored like other jeans. Show the world you mean business by owning the only jeans that can’t be worn! The jeans, that can stand on their own!”

$600 - only at Nordstrom.