More than 20 years ago, when I was planning my wedding, I made the mistake of joining message boards on TheKnot.com, a wedding-planning website. You'll be not surprised to learn that the trolls and Leftist harpies that make social media toxic today got their start way back when, on those very message boards.
I say that because 2005 was the same year that Michelle Duggar gave birth to her 16th child. The backlash against Duggar was as swift as it was nasty.
"She needs to be forcibly spayed," wrote one commenter.
"This right here is why we need a one-child policy, like China," wrote another. I feel pity for their husbands.
I made the mistake of speaking up in defense of Duggar. Being pro-choice, as I regrettably was back then, I believed that if women had a "right to choose" not to have children, they also had the right to choose to have children, and — certain circumstances notwithstanding — as many as they wanted.
For that, I was told that I too needed to be fixed like a dog, and the women said they hoped I would be infertile so I wouldn't "breed" too many kids. One of the biggest and most ridiculous arguments I saw then was not just that parents couldn't afford that many kids, it was that parents couldn't possibly love all those children.
That's rearing its head again, it seems.
You cannot give nine children adequate time, attention and connection. You are, unquestionably, with nine children, spending less time with your children than a working parent with two kids. https://t.co/LR0RN0zd8Y
— Rebecca Reid (@RebeccaCNReid) March 1, 2026
I have no idea who Hannah and Daniel Neeleman are, but they are about to welcome their ninth child. Congrats to them; babies are a blessing.
But I also know that Reid doesn't know the Neelemans, either, and cannot possibly come to the conclusion that they — or any parent — is incapable of loving more than two children. I know this, because I have three myself.
The notion that children cannot get "adequate" time, attention, and connection with their parents if there are "too many" of them is false on its face. Every single child is different, and every single child has different needs.
My eldest is quiet and analytical, loves politics and baseball, and has a sense of humor as dry as the Sahara. My middle son is loud, boisterous, and a high-functioning autistic who loves to burst into song. My youngest loves the Titanic, assumes everyone he meets is his friend, and won't let me throw away junk mail if it's got cute pictures of animals on it.
With each birth, my capacity for loving them grew because a parent's love is not finite. There isn't a maximum limit of love that one can give to her children until it's exhausted. It expands exponentially. My only regret is that I didn't have one more.
Parents with more than two kids also set the record straight.
And yet all my 9 kids are happy andwell adjusted. They managed to get through the Wonderful Mrs Whig passing a couple years ago. They're doing well in school and work. Even better my married children have chosen to live near me and come to visit, bringing the best part, all the…
— Yore Friend Whig 🇮🇱 (@WhigJust) March 2, 2026
We also live in a time when having and raising children is made much more burdensome than it has to be. There was a time when we didn't have the convenience of baby formula, technology, and furniture that make parenting easier. The thing that saved our lives when our eldest was a newborn was his bouncy seat, where he slept like a champ. But this notion that kids need to consume every waking moment of our time and attention will only drive you crazy. Kids need to learn to play independently, or with their siblings, both of which are facilitated by large families.
Things weren't always that easy.
Ma’am, my mother and father-in-law had 10 children in Saigon during the Vietnam war and ran a business.
— The Major 🇺🇸 🇮🇱 (@saltymarine80) March 1, 2026
They were able to escape the communist dictatorship and all their children have grown up to be successful in America and France for that matter.
And there are other factors here, too. Having so many children increases independence, resilience, and reduces helicopter parenting. That can only be a net win. We also expect children to go to daycares where there are 15 or 20 children in one room, and pretend that parents are the ones who have trouble giving those kids "adequate" attention.
Disagree entirely. I have 4 kids and my #1 regret is that we didn’t have more. The world needs more large, loving families. I admire all the young people who are embracing and working to have big families. They deserve our praise, not our criticism. https://t.co/CRpTZ6Xje5
— Robby Starbuck (@robbystarbuck) March 2, 2026
As I said, I wish I had had at least one more, because my eldest is now an adult, my middle son is on the brink of getting his license, and — come May — my youngest will be a teenager. The days may be long, but the years go by in the blink of an eye.
What strikes me most isn’t that strangers feel entitled to judge large families. People are judgmental, but it’s that our culture now treats children as liabilities and burdens, instead of blessings. We wring our hands about declining birth rates and collapsing communities, then sneer at the very families choosing to build something bigger than themselves. As I said: love does not divide; it multiplies. And a society that mocks parents for welcoming children is a society that has forgotten that very salient fact, as well as its own future.
