Joe Biden is Apparently Obama’s Gift to Republicans

Posted: Jul 25, 2014 1:15 AM

America’s crazy Uncle Joe Biden is at it again. After admitting that the whole “hope and change” promise hasn’t exactly panned out, our illustrious Vice President commented that he wished he had a Republican kid in the family. In some off-the-cuff remarks this week, Joe “open-mouth-insert-foot” Biden joked that he wished he had raised at least one Republican child, so someone could fund his retirement… I’m starting to like Joe a little more.

Speaking at the Urban League Conference in Cincinnati, our loveable gaff-machine pined for a Republican son or daughter to “go out and make money.” Ya know… So that way someone (aside from us taxpayers) could pay for his future assisted living residence.

First of all, I’m glad to see Joe is starting to be honest about how Social Security really works. Second of all, I’m pretty pleased to see him come to terms with the reality that he should be admitted to a home. I hope he finds a good deal on a timeshare, or assisted living condo. And, if his daughter is too busy not making money as a social worker, I’ll even offer to spend Sundays with him and a six pack of beer (assuming he promises not to shoot his shotgun indiscriminately into the air).

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t think he’s converting to the side of fiscal restraint, and social conservatism; but I’m getting the feeling that he’d be a fun guy to hang with during a football game. Especially if we start chatting about Dems being a bunch of hand-out seeking social workers who mooch off of the productive class.

Now, we all know his comments were simple attempts at humor… But I couldn’t help but feel that there may be a little of Biden’s true philosophy exposed in his moment of endearing honesty. After all, he has made most of his political career about promising to redistribute stuff from the over-stuffed, to the under-stuffed (H/T George Carlin). Could it be that even Joe Biden, America’s most beloved inept Democrat, actually believes his voters are a bunch of lazy social parasites who don’t actually produce any wealth?

Implied in his adorable comedic moment is the notion that Republicans are the ones who actually go out and get things done in the world. Apparently, Dems just hang with their social worker friends, and sip on some obscure brand of hipster coffee… Or something. Aside from the billionaire environmentalists, movie stars, former NYC mayors, and a handful of very wealthy politicians, Joe seems to think Dems pretty much sit around waiting to mooch off of someone else, while making far less than those capitalist Republicans.

Regardless of what (if anything) Joe really meant by his comments, one thing is clear: Joe Biden is apparently the only thing of value that President Obama has ever given to Republicans. Keep up the good work, Joe!