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OPINION
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Another Weird Development in Pelosi Hammergate

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Photo by Greg Allen/Invision/AP

I was going to discuss how the Republican Party is poised to have a great election night on November 8, with a red tsunami that's going to wash away the 18 or so months of Democratic Party inaction and incompetence, as well as the trivial debates over issues that do not matter to most Americans, like January 6 and global warming. The momentum has shifted decidedly in the GOP's favor. The Democrats' advantage with female voters has been erased, and now Hispanic and black Americans seem ready to vote for Republicans in record numbers. Right now, a Suffolk/Siena Poll has Hispanic support for the GOP at 40 percent and black American support at 21 percent —Trump won 37 and 10 percent of the vote from these respective groups in 2020. Coupled with Americans' overall dissatisfaction with Joe Biden, the state of the economy, high inflation, and the spike in violent crime—the GOP could retake both chambers, something that wasn't even considered a few weeks ago. But we can't talk about that because some weird shenanigans went down at the Pelosi house. I cannot stress how weird this story has become—it's genuinely the Halloween treat of the 2022 cycle, and it's fitting that Paul Pelosi, Mr. August DUI, is the show's star. 

Spencer wrote about it last Friday, October 28. Mr. Pelosi was attacked by an intruder allegedly wearing nothing but his underwear. The suspect evaded detection and security cameras and seemingly evaporated into the residence walls, as there was no evidence of forced entry. Mr. Pelosi suffered severe injuries as the attacker, David DePape, 42, was armed with a hammer. 

Mr. DePape was looking for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who was safe in Washington, DC, but he then turned his attention to Mr. Pelosi, who, at the age of 82, executed his Saquon Barkley-like athletic abilities and dashed into the bathroom to call for help. When police arrived, DePape and Pelosi were both fighting with a hammer, but Pelosi greeted the officers. Also, DePape said that Pelosi ran down the stairs to open the door to let the officers in, but it's still being treated as a hostage crisis.

That's the even more bizarre turn to this story. First, it was reported that some unidentified person opened the door for the police, which is odd that some rando would be watching the attack. Police then said there was no third person, but now Mr. Pelosi was the one who opened the door? What the hell is going on? 

DePape, who we'll call Captain Underpants, is also a known looney toon, who was known to some local politicians for only being mentally ill, but a hardcore member of the public nudity squad. His Berkely home is saturated with BLM, pride flags, and Antifa merchandise, though he also spread 2020 election conspiracy theories, QAnon nonsense, and some material about January 6.

The mental health issue explains the complete lack of coherence regarding anything, so for the media to latch on and say DePape is MAGA is just comical. Folks, this is San Francisco—it's just as pro-Trump as Chicago, where Jussie Smollett orchestrated a fake hate crime with a couple of Nigerians. And just like Smollett's circus, the media will try and sell that this attack occurred because the GOP's attack ads were too mean. Republicans revile Nancy Pelosi—that's a fact—and she's also a top Democratic leader. Of course, she's going to be attacked in media spots. It's not like this is the first cycle where there's been negative campaigning. DePape's abject psychosis will be unearthed in due time, but only after we resolve questions about how this man entered the home.

Where's the body cam footage from the responding officers, and where is the security camera footage? And, of course, the Federal Bureau of Investigation is now on the case, so you know it will do everything it can to prevent the facts from tumbling out of this bizarre rendezvous.

This hammering of Pelosi was the October Surprise. It might not have been a shock poll, an embarrassing campaign implosion, or a disqualifying scandal, but it's certainly entertaining. Mr. Pelosi did undergo skull surgery and is expected to fully recover, so that is the good news. What comes next regarding sorting out the rest of the details, which local law enforcement seems incapable of doing, is the next chapter.

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